Sunday, December 27, 2009

Being Needy vs. Making One Feel Needed

I've been meaning to write this but due to my hectic schedule and work @ 7:30 in the morning I barely have time to think lol. So for those who have no idea what I am talking about in the title I have come to discuss the difference between being needy and making someone feel needed.

There is a fine line between the two so lets discuss:

Needy: A rough topic. Many do not like to discuss or even refer to themself as so but the truth shall set you free! For example: You call to ask me if I would like to attend a dinner date with you later but I don't answer so you leave a voicemail. After hanging up you send a text message to say you called me. If I do not respond within an hour you text and/or call me AGAIN to ask if I got your call AND text.LMBO. That's a big no no. 1. This makes you too accessible. 2. This makes it seem as though you have no other options on earth and can give off a stalker vibe. 3. It ruins the art of the chase! No one wants a person that is impossible to catch but they don't want to have everything handed to them. Makes a boring interaction and applies doormat status to your forehead :)
Needed: A better topic. Everyone loves to feel like they are needed or wanted. Not to the point where it becomes an obsession but to know you are valued by another. Example: A guy knows that he has to shop for his mother for her birthday but has no idea what to get her. He says "If you have time would you help me find my mom a gift? I know you have great taste and I trust your judgement especially since I'm not the best in that area." Now this leaves the girl feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and lets her know you think highly of her, recognize she can help and it earns points with the guy and mom (if he decides to say you helped, which he probably won't but we'll just pretend for this scenario lol)

Now don't get me wrong, some will be intrigued by someone who is needy in a rare occasion because there are always exceptions to rules BUT on a wider scale it's weird. I'm not saying put up a brick wall and play hard to get BUT if someone doesn't respond to you or give you as much energy as you're giving them step back and if they want you they'll contact you. I believe in liking someone a lot and wanting to show them but you don't want to push them away because you are coming on too strong. If a guy doesn't text you back, wait and let him contact YOU. He will when he realizes he hasn't heard from you in a while, and if not, he's not worth your time. If a girl keeps denying your request for quality time channel your energy elsewhere. The individual that is worth your time will embrace you with the same amount of attention and affection. Those who do not weren't worth it to begin with. Learn to understand the word "NO" or when someone is just being nice not to hurt your feelings. Not quite sure if this was long enough but I don't want to beat a dead horse so enjoy.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

We all fall short

It's been a minute! There is a lot for me to talk about but I wanted to get specific on one topic and then maybe the rest will come into play.

Lately I've been dealing with a lot of mixed emotions towards friends, family, school, life post-undergrad, work, etc. and its as crazy as people say lol. I feel like there are very few people who I can talk to about what I'm going through because at some point no one understands how I feel because they've never walked my path. Either the person lending an ear is still in school, just working, or is content with their everyday life and that's far from my plans. The other day I heard on the radio to watch the Steve Harvey's Tearful Testimony on YouTube (look it up). Once I watched it, I fell in love! There this man was saying exactly how I feel and I don't know him from Adam! Now a big issue he discussed is the way that Christians treat one another and how some churches have become so reluctant to accepting people that aren't all "holy holy".

I have always fought becoming that kind of person because 1. It makes people turn away from the one thing they need, God. 2. It completely goes against what God has sent the people of the church to do and 3. I know my struggles and I am no better than any one person because WE ALL FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. I think it's sad when someone can stick up their nose at someone else because the individual may not be living right. We all struggle with our own sin everyday! Some may not be as "severe" as others but at the end of the day sin holds no weight, they are all the same when we have to be judged. I've seen the "holy rollers" on campus turn their nose up to others in disgust but go to their boyfriend or girlfriends room and scream their name from the highest mountains during sex LOL. Sorry, I got a little graphic but it's real.

I try my best not to judge anyone because I know I deal with a lot mentally that some people may never know or see. I may look like I have it all together but I don't (I promise). People are like cars, just because some look shiny and brand new doesn't mean there isn't anything wrong under the hood. Don't judge a book by its cover! We as saved people have got to open the doors to those who may still be going through but have the best intentions in mind. We are the chosen people to guide others to the lord. For those who may be having trouble finding a church or people in Christ who are genuine don't fret great churches and people of God DO exist but remember: There is no perfect church. A church is made of imperfect people BUT we all come together to worship a perfect God and HE is the one who will never leave no forsake you. (That girl droppin knowledge!) LOL.

So, the moral of the story is to love one another. Reach out to those who need it and do not let the actions of others steer you away from where you're supposed to be! We all have to get to heaven one day and you can't say "Lord well Banocka rolled her eyes at me and called me a lying heffa so I never went to church after that" because Banocka won't be speaking for you at the gates. (Sorry for the random name, idk either.) Pray and build a relationship with God. Try your best to live right and don't forget to forgive yourself when things go wrong because the lord always forgives you.

Love, Peace, and Hair Grease.
Desaree' Franchon

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Be the Ultimate Fashionista, Inexpensively

Ok so with the recession and my new "grown up" life lol the budget I have come to possess is tight. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to shop and sometimes it has been the cause of many nights eating Ramen noodles lol. Although I love it and I believe strongly in being fashionable one of my secrets is I'm the ultimate bargain shopper. I rarely spend over $20 over a pair of jeans (although I should considering my height and shape). I have had a few people approach me thinking I'm rich but on the contrary I'm not and I'm kind of cheap lol. I call it getting the most for my buck, so I decided to share my secrets (dun dun dunnn!).

1. Inexpensive vs. Cheap. Although clothes may be inexpensive that DOES NOT mean they have to be cheap. I am an advocate for this! I may not buy a skirt for $30 from H&M (which is a store I love!) but I can buy two off the clearance rack from Wetseal for buy one get one free! They may not be the same material BUT the material in the skirts from Wetseal compliment my shape, will have longevity, and look as though I paid more making them worthwhile. This can be great for building business attire especially when you're in college, just getting out, or hitting a rough patch in life. I don't want anyone to get confused though. If a shirt is on clearance for $3 great! BUT that does not mean that it is a figure flattering material and will last long. Which leads me to my next point..

2. Try things on! Now, I can not stand trying things on. It stretches out the close I already have on and it takes time but it is very helpful. People come in all shapes and sizes and clothing is the same so a shirt in one store may say small but it may fit like an extra small or a medium. A size 12 in one store can be totally different from a size 12 in another store. So, as tedious as it may seem... try things on. It will save you frustration if it does not fit and save you from buying something that may not be returnable or returned for money.

3. Just because you didn't spend $500 dollars on it does not lessen its value. Confession: I love labels, I mean what fashionista doesn't? BUT I don't let them run me. I will buy something from a designer I may not know but if it looks great, then I feel great! I may not have spent department store or boutique price on them does not lessen how great I may look in the clothing lol. I'm sure we would all like to "throw it in the bag" as much as we could but if you don't live that life why get hung up on it? If you can save yourself 5 more dollars in life why not? Shoot go treat yourself to McDonald's afterwards as a reward for your savings lol. You still get a good buy but you get food too (HEAVEN) lol.

4. So where are these places? Now I have to bust out my secrets but if you get some things from them give ya girl some credit lol! Plato's Closet is big! They only take name brand stuff, yes some of it is used but a good amount of the stuff still has tags and previously worn stuff is LIGHTLY worn basically meaning it still looks new. Marshalls, Ross, A.J. Wright they're all great! A little more expensive BUT none of the stuff has been worn and a majority of the stuff is name brand. Last but not least: Goodwill and thrift stores! I know I know, no one wants to be seen going in these places BUT you can find some great things in there and they're very inexpensive! Yes people wore the clothing previously but I'm sure you have access to a washing machine or sink lol, so wash it before wearing! I have found some things from Target in Goodwill with tags attached because what Target doesn't sell they send there so hey ya never know! P.S. You don't have to tell anyone you shop at these places in fact let them think you spent retail price lol.

Glad I could share my secrets. Any other question don't be afraid to ask :)


Desaree' Franchon

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Sometimes the act of trying is the accomplishment.

Ok so right this past Saturday (the 15th) were the auditions for America's Next Top Model. Now anyone who knows me knows that I love the show, love modeling, and have tried out for the show 3 times previously. I always felt like it was "My Time" when I attended each casting but no avail I wasn't chosen any time.

The fear of not being chosen a 4th time was hanging over my head and almost kept me from going. The night before I was so upset because I wanted to wear the right thing and be perfect and nothing seemed right. I was beginning to stress myself out over a casting I hadn't even made it to and there was no guarantee I would make it lol.

Well long story short I attended but didn't make it (I know sad face lol). But you know what, I'm proud of myself. I went after something I really wanted. I received 2 interviews out of it while I was in line, which will be helpful to my future, AND I took the train to NY for the 1st time all by myself! So with that being said, I may not be in the running for ANTM but I overcame my fears and even embarked on new journeys! Every little bit counts and evidently this was not what God has in store for me. But you know what I will meet Tyra Banks one day, just on different terms :) . Thank you all for your encouragement prior to me going and keep me in your prayers because you are surely in mine.

Desaree' Franchon

Monday, August 17, 2009

NORAL art for my Birthday!!

So the 16th was my birthday and I am now 22!! Ok so my friend Laron makes customized apparel and accessories (t-shirts, bags, baby clothing, he does it all!) and I wanted a bag from him for the longest. Now my pockets are very stiff right now considering my unemployment status LOL so I wasn't able to get one. Well my bestie KyAsia suprised me yesterday and handed me a yellow bag custom made by Laron and I shed a couple of tears lol! I am in love! I felt like it was so personalized and had all of my personality on a bag of my favorite color!!!!

If anyone wants one let me know I will give you his contact info! NORAL art is going places so I suggest you get something now before everything is as expensive as gucci LOL. Please believe he is great at what he does and if you request something he can work with you and make it as flyy as possible. Thank you KyAsia and thank you Laron my birthday was complete! :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Love takes time

So I was talking to my friend Michele yesterday at Six Flags and she was talking about how she blogged previously but it got kind of crazy so she stopped. The women on here are so confused about love and have a lot of question (as we women always do lol). I felt inspired by that especially considering I'm a hopeless romantic and I LOVE being in love, so maybe my words can help :).

I've learned that I can be very impatient. Things should happen when I went them to and that has been the mentality that I have had for a long time (its the leo in me). I have a history of running into the arms of love longing for its eternal embrace not realizing that the love I had with the individual was still premature. With my last boyfriend we barely knew one another but we were so captivated with one another that we fell very soon. We later felt the after shock of learning the important things about someone during a relationship that should have been known prior to. The things we found out caused problems and started arguments that could have been prevented if they were known earlier.

I believe love is patient, kind and gentle. Love takes its time and if you rush love you will get left with a whole heap of trouble. Although I really want to be in love, start my life, get married in the next 5 or more years, start a family and live happily ever after that may not be the path made for me. I have to let God do his thing and follow his lead. Although it's nice having that significant other, sometimes there are other things in life to be obtained prior to your "prince charming" coming along. I'm kind of talking to myself which is pretty funny, but hey helping self and others is always great because we both benefit. I think that's about it!

I love their love. Beyonce and Jay-Z do it big in every way and they don't care what anyone has to say about them! Plus everyone knows I love Beyonce and Jay-Z is one of the greatest rappers alive in my book!

Desaree' Franchon

Monday, August 10, 2009

Photo Shoot

Well just had a shoot to start my portfolio. Let me tell you I had a BLAST!

The shoot was with Les Sidweber. I went with friends to have shots done for fun previously with him but this time it was business. He was absolutely great and his ideas added an extra special detail that I needed.
Mom and Ky Asia were there for support and I'm glad I had them on my team! Ky recommended poses and mom was there with the hair (of course) lol. More pics on facebook but here's a taste. Next shoot I'm going to have long hair stay tuned! Enjoy!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Let's Talk Politics

Now, I would like to start this off by saying I am NOT trying to convince, persuade, or sway anyones judgement/feelings/choice. I am stating my opinion, which I am entitled to, and maybe I will shed some light on a perspective other than yours. Now.. let the games begin!
Ok so recently, since I'm home, I've been stuck watching MSNBC and CNN because that is all my aunt watches while I'm on the computer lol. I think its disgusting how the country is acting several months after Barack Obama has become president. There has never been such a display of over analytical, disrespectful and frankly unasked for controversy.

Barack Obama has displayed his birth certificate after the allegations of him not being a U.S. citizen (ridiculous) and people are still claiming he hasn't shown it lol. The issue of him smoking is tough because I'm not for it but the man has the right to do so! If its such a problem for the president to smoke because he's a role model then why do we sell them to everyday men who are role models to their own children? Think about it! Then we have those in the "real world" and government who are deciding to make everything complicated regarding the Stimulus Package. Well lets think, the more we resist on the package the easier it is to make Obama look as if he is not doing his job.
American people WE HAVE GOT TO GET IT TOGETHER! The harder we fight against our LEADER the worse it is for us. The slower the relief from the destruction the previous president has created occurs, the faster our economy goes into a hole. People take the pledge of allegiance daily and fail to realize what they are saying. One Nation Under God, Indivisible with liberty and justice FOR ALL!! So whether the president is black, white, green, or purple we have to trust that the man WE elected under the rules of the constitution and such is going to guide us. We may not always agree but resistance is futile and will only cause destruction.
Thanks a bunch! I feel better now lol.


Desaree' Franchon

Friday, July 31, 2009

Post from June 10, 2009 via FB

Well... here goes another one of my infamous notes lol considering I have nothing but time to think since I am currently unemployed lmbo so yea... p.s. if you know anyone who's hiring shout me a holla!! Anywho once again I have no idea where I'm going with this but it's gonna be goodddddddd.

So right I was looking @ my old pics and I came across a female who shall remain nameless.. but she was the type of girl who used her status and things she was involved in to attract dudes. She's a pretty girl but all in all she didn't respect herself. Now me being immature at the time.. I was like dag she's gettin mad dudes LOL Then I thought hmm... how come I'm not gettin em too??? Well long story short chick was giving up the buns like a bakery and all of a sudden dudes went from her best friends to doggin her. Now me, I've always been picky so I choose who I decide to talk 2 like that... but after I saw these guys disrespecting her it all made sense.. they didn't respect her to begin with they just wanted the grits (buns for those who aren't familiar with the grits terminology lol). I also noticed those who stopped talking to her... we always cool with me. Now they may have wanted my grits too LOL BUT because I respected myself.. they respected me. They knew I wasn't that kind of girl and saw me different. Now that I'm older it all makes sense and I'm so happy I stayed to myself.. especially on Cheyney's small campus LOL. Shoot give yur grits up to one person and eveerryyyyoonnnneeee would know (that's why you date off campus wink wink) LOL.

I feel as females we have lost that level of respect for ourselves. People will ONLY treat you how you allow them to. If you're at a party and you allow dudes to smack ya butt.. then they're gonna do it... but if you turn around and tell them don't even disrespect you like that again or they gonna have a problem (like I do lol) then they know where ya head is @. I don't have to show my body to every1.. especially since those aren't the kind of guys I want to attract. If they are attracted to you only for your body then why do you think they only want to get in ya pants? That kinda guy isn't gonna wife u.. sorry but true LOL. I have too many male cousins to not know what it is. Shoot I know what I look like when the clothes come off... but that's not for every1 else to see. Know your worth.. if you know your value and accept nothing short of being treated right then people will do so. Now there will be a few who step out of line.. but the ones who matter will be cool.

P.S. Guys don't be the one to disrespect a female even if she doesn't respect herself. That could be your mom, sister, or daughter. You set the tone and have the right to choose to not fopllow the majority. Shoot the bible says the man is the head of the household.. so what you do trickles down on your family.. u don't have to be married for this to happen either.

I feel like I'm thinking of more to write... soooooooo until next time. Tootles :)

Ha!!! I have a blog! Look out world!!

OMG!!! I have a blog! muhahaha! LOL

Well after deep consideration and thought, it's official I started my blog! My initial idea started from my constant writing notes on Facebook. I figured why not put them in one place that is accessible to everyone (because my FB is private), so here I am! I pray that this blog gives a little more insight on me, but also helps someone else in their time of need as well. If I can help one person then I've accomplished a MAJOR goal. Michael Jackson said it best, heal the world.. make it a better place and I will not leave his words in vain!

Ok now that I've gotten entirely too deep for my hype mood at the moment lol this is my official hello! Thanks for viewing and you WILL NOT be disappointed! Leave comments and check back, I plan to make this my new project considering I have NO JOB lol!

I will be posting some of my past notes from FB as well to give a jump start to the site! Later!

Desaree' Franchon