Saturday, December 19, 2015

I Thought That God Forgot About Me

2015 has been the most trying year of my life. I have had some major losses and hard times in the past year. I have felt my lowest of low, lost friends, lost myself and struggled with my spirituality. Don't get me wrong.. I am blessed. I woke up everyday with air in my lungs and a job to go to but it seemed like everything that could go wrong, did.

This post is not for pity. It's for progress. It's for the person who felt most like me in my time of need and for the person who may feel like there's not way out.

Being raised as a Christian teaches you faith and believing that even when things get tough you will overcome. I can't tell you how many Sunday School, Bible Studies, and Vacation Bible Schools I've attended through the years because I've surely lost count. I can't explain how many bible verses and children's church songs I can recite after you say one single phrase. I'm also not sure how many words of encouragement that I selflessly have shared with others when they were in need just because the Lord placed it on my heart. With all of these things y'all.. the knowledge, the foundation and the urge to share a message to someone, somehow they were nowhere to be found when I needed the most.

Due to working retail I was forced into working on Sundays. At first it didn't take an affect on me because I still had my joy. After weeks became months and I hadn't gone to church things started to change. It's as if I was on the same radio frequency listening to my favorite DJ and all of a sudden I started to drive outside of the coverage area. The static started to creep in. At this point I could hear what he was saying still but the strength in the voice started to fade away. The longer I continued to be absent from fellowship, the less I read my word and the more anxious I became. (I won't go into the anxiety and depression too much because I'll be releasing a video about it very soon.) This is where life became the toughest. Not only was I physically on my own (remember I have 2 friends here, literally) I also was spiritually disconnected. And THAT my friend is a recipe for disaster for a person like me. I feed off of the energy of others. Good or positive and receiving no energy left me down and drained.

As time passed I would pray but my prayers felt unanswered. It felt as if Jesus had disconnected the mainline (told you about those church songs I can recite on cue). I felt lost. I felt abandoned. The words of encouragement from friends and family fell on deaf ears. I could no longer hear. I could no longer see. I could no longer understand why I was in this dark place and how God decided to leave me here. All lessons in life are in preparation for what's to come in the future and I will tell you I know exactly when God was trying to prepare me for this loneliness BUT it affected me way more than I anticipated.

Looking in hindsight I realize these things:

1. God will never leave nor forsake you. When I was feeling lonely and he couldn't get through to me I had a few people that he sent to me specifically to aide me in my time of need. Fiamma (all the way in California), Kristin (friend #1), Garvin (friend #2.. G you're not #2 in my life I just named you second so get out of your feelings), Ky (my day 1), Ashley (although she didn't know it) and my guardian angel Andres. These are the people who helped me the most during my trying time. I can never repay them for helping me carry my cross. Even when I was down they still believed in me.

2. You have to make time for the Lord. After I was denied Sundays off I found a loop hole.. I requested off every other Sunday. Not a single soul could complain because I was helping them meet the needs of the business and meeting the need of my soul. I requested a daily verse from my bible app and of course I talked to God even when I felt he couldn't hear me.

3. We're not in control. You think that you can force things, you think that you can change the direction of the tide but if you change those thoughts and go with the wind while you continue to do everything that you can in the midst of the storm you'll have your foundation built when the sun shines again. Somebody help me I'm preaching!

4. LET IT GO. You have to give all your worries to God. Cast all your cares upon him for he cares for you (Another 1, In my DJ Khaled Voice). Do not worry about the things you can't control. That's life. Things won't always go your way but those things that are too much for you God is bigger than. Let him take away the worry and you keep fighting.

5. Wake up and smell the roses!! I almost missed my year. I almost missed all the blessings. I went on vacation... TWICE! Miami and Dubai. I rode a freaking camel people!! I was published in a 3 page spread in The NY Daily News (like what?!?!) I met Jaleel White.. like forreal Stefan Urkel was supposed to be my man. I'm modeling for a company who's racks I would shop at my local mall growing up. I mean I am blessed. I live in New York freaking City and I'm alive. I'm not homeless. I'm not hungry. I'm not naked. I'm blessed. I have a job for one of the biggest american designers at the moment. #blessed

Count your blessings. You will get through. Trouble don't last always. Every storm leads to a rainbow.. never give up. Never lose sight of the dream. You will steer of course sometimes but you've got what it takes to get back on track.

It feels SO good to be back!!!!!


Friday, November 13, 2015

The Day I Found Out My Dad Was A Janitor.

From the time I can remember my parents have always been hard workers. When I was young they opened up Hair Bizzz Barber & Beauty Salon together and ran the business along with my aunt. My mother and Aunt were the main hair stylists and my father did the managing. I didn't realize it then but they were molding my idea of what greatness is. I would watch them spend long nights in that salon working and building relationships with their clients. My father would make bank runs, keep the salon stocked with everything from the latest hair products to snacks that held the customers over while they spent half the day there (you know how hair salons have you there all day). Those were the days..

After my parents decided to close down the business my mother continued to work in local salons and my father picked up work elsewhere to continue earning for our family. It's funny but if you sit down and have a conversation with my dad it seems like he's worked for every company under the sun. I'm not sure there's nothing this man can't do and if there is he'll master it after you give him the manual.

For a few years my dad was working for an up and coming computer company. He would come home and tell us all about the funny stories from the office and how my sister and I should never end up like those people.  One day my mom fixed dad lunch and drove to his job to drop it off. After 10 minutes of him not answering his cellphone (In true John Rutledge fashion) she asked me to run it inside. I walked in and asked a woman "Do you know where John is?" She replied "John? Who is John?" I replied "John Rutledge. Brown skin man. Glasses. About this height" She then said "OHHH!! John the Janitor! Follow me!" As we walked through the room full of cubicles she led me to the back door where my dad's car was parked outside. If anyone knows him you know this man can sleep anywhere.. especially in that van he has lol. I then found my dad sleep with his smock on and cleaning supplies. I was confused because I had no idea my dad was a janitor but I also felt my heart break..

You see.. I'm not ashamed that my father was a janitor. Not by any means. He did what was necessary to provide for my family. Even if that meant humbling himself to clean up after others just to keep a roof over our heads, he did just that. The reason my heart broke was because at that time my dad should have been retired. He should've been in the sun on a beach in Florida with a drink in his hand. Although that day was difficult it was a pivotal moment for me. That day gave me purpose. When I started modeling  I had my ideas of what I wanted to do for myself and of course I had a plan to get my mom that Cadillac she always said she wanted.. but this day changed it all. This day showed me that I had to grind so hard that my family no longer had to work. My parents worked their butts off to make sure that we were provided for and the least I could do was make sure that they had nothing to worry about.

I say all this to say that I am PROUD of my father. He did his best to be the man that our family needed. By no means is he perfect but he damn sure is perfect to me. I applaud him and all of his sacrifices. The nights he worked overnight. The days he stayed out in the cold cutting wood in the backyard so my family could be warm during the winter. The rides to school he gave my sister and I everyday even though he didn't have to. My daddy is the man and I love him. I just hope that I can repay him at least 1/2 of what he's done for me and continue to make him as proud as he's made me.
Mommy I know you're reading this... I'm SO proud of you too. You have made me into the woman that I am... but this isn't your post. You're next I promise lol *muah*


Wednesday, September 16, 2015

What's normal anyway?

Music is healing for me. It's my escape from reality and sometimes my sanity. There are very few artists who speak to my being... Miguel is one of them.

I dedicate this post to anyone who feels out of place. Out of touch. Like there isn't a place for them in this world. You belong. Be yourself. Love yourself. Listen to the song if you haven't already. 

                                                 "what's normal anyway"

Too proper for the black kids, too black for the Mexicans
Too square to be a hood nigga, what's normal anyway?
Too opinionated for the pacifist, too out of touch to be in style
Too broke for the rich kids, I don't know what normal is

What's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
I mean what's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
What's normal anyway?
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong

Too immoral for the Christians, but too moral for the cut-throat
Too far out for the in crowd, what's normal anyway?
Too involved in my own life to spend time with my family
Too concerned about what others think

What's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
I mean what's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
What's normal anyway?
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere

Don't let them change you, just be who you are, who you are
Don't let them change you, you can't please them all, them all

In a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere
Don't let them change you, just be who you are, who you are
Don't let them change you, you can't please them all, them all
In a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere

Monday, July 6, 2015

Does He Care About Your Edges??

The bonnet. The Scarf. The Wrap. Whatever you use to protect your hair ladies... the men are talking about it.
During my visit to Chicago I had a conversation with my cousin Aja about wrapping your hair when you're in the presence of a man and if it's okay. We both are years into our natural hair journey and love our hair, especially after all of the hard work we have put in. Of course we are both pro scarf because maintaining our hair is priority but there are some men who don't feel the same.
As I sat down to watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta about a month ago, the camera is in the bathroom with Kandi as she's getting ready for bed. In walks her husband, Todd, as she's putting on her scarf. Todd makes a remark about the scarf along the lines of (excuse me while I paraphrase from my terrible memory) "Oh you have to put that on now?" and Kandi's response was "Yes. I have to preserve my hair." She then has a part where she says "If someone can come up with an alternative for me to keep my hair nice at night and I can wake up in the morning and just go I'll use it but until then the scarf stays."

Ladies... if he doesn't want you to wrap your hair he doesn't care about your edges. Gentlemen let me break this down for you. Most of you have cotton pillow cases. Cotton pillow cases will snag hair, especially curly hair, as you're rolling around in your slumber. Over a period of time hair will start to break of from the snags of your pillow and before you know if your girl has fake baby hair gelled down to the sides of her head all because she wanted you to be attracted to her while she slept. Cotton pillowcases also soak up the necessary oils to keep hair moisturized and healthy.

So Ladies if you're dating and finding yourself in a debate over your bonnet here's a compromise. 1. Bring a silk pillowcase. He doesn't want your hair wrapped but he didn't say you couldn't protect your hair otherwise. This allows him to feel like he can roll over and not feel like he's sleeping with Aunt Jeminma and you keep to keep your edges. Win! 2. If you don't have a silk pillowcase bring of your scarf but tie it around the pillow. The hair will still be on flee. No worries. 3. If all else fails and he still won't budge he can either a. Pay for your frequent visits to the hair salon because you will need the maintenance for what he wants or b. Find someone who is a little more understanding.

Now.. last but not least. Intimacy and the head wrap. Dun dun dunnnnn..
Well... you're just going to have to unwrap to wrap it again. If it's the middle of the night he may just have to endure but if you can control it try to keep the sexy going just for theme needed. Depending on how much sweat is required and what hairstyle you have to preserve I suggest you communicate to your partner that you absolutely need the scarf. That is the only exception. I'm not a fan of anyone sweating out the blowout lol. If your partner doesn't mind the wrap then go for it. If they do... you can either a. sweat it out b. ask him for the funds to get it redone c. pack your bonnet and go.

I want to know what you all think! Feel free to comment because this is an ongoing debate.


Trouble don't last always: Open Diary

Why have I been missing? 
There is nothing more frustrating than writing a blog and constantly hearing the "thoughts" of others in your head. I experience this every time I write a post and there have been times where I could push through but for the most part I'm finding it very difficult. There comes a point where the voices of others speak louder than your own and frankly I'm over it. I'm tired of the self doubt. I'm tired of wondering if I'm going to offend someone. I'm tired of wondering if my words will be taken out of context. There's nothing more frustrating for a creative then boundaries and limitations but how do you beat them when they're coming out of your own mind?

This is one of my flaws. The fact that I can't drown out the voices kills me. It keeps me from being my true self. My true free spirit. Censorship and limitations get under my skin. There was a time where I could tune them out but honestly I haven't been doing what I need to to make that possible. What do I normally do.. let me explain.

Going to church is a big part of who I am. Not only because I was raised there but fellowship is something that makes me like at home. Being surrounded by likeminded individuals and being able to bounce ideas off of them makes things so much easier. I have found a church home but due to my busy schedule, making it to church on Sunday is nearly impossible. My prayer life is struggling and my lack of connection when it comes to friendships in NYC... well quite frankly I'm in a place I've never been before. Often lonely and shut off from the outside world my life has taken a turn in a direction I couldn't anticipate. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not miserable. I'm not depressed. I'm just an individual trying to figure out how to navigate a situation that doesn't suit my personality. I'm quiet at work. I'm pretty quiet at home. No real outlet for me to really express myself.. so in a way I've become a shell. Lol.. that didn't sound as depressing in my head. Sorry guys.. back to the point.
Having a relationship with God and being aligned with his purpose for my life is what I need to be on track. I'm working on that. Reading the Bible.. fellowshipping.. praying.. fasting (Lord only knows the last time I did that). Those are the things I need to do to get this thing back on track. Funny how we always know what we need to do but doing it is the hard part. Oh and I need to work out.. consistently. Yikes. My younger sister is a beast in the gym and I'm over here paying for a membership and I go every once in a while lol #fail.

I guess this blog was more of a therapy session more than anything. Thanks for reading.
I always pray that my posts help at least one person. There is someone out there going through the same thing I am and if I can give them some sort of clarity or make them feel like they're not alone then so be it. To whomever this may touch please know that you're not alone and this is a temporary state. Trouble don't last always.


Thursday, March 26, 2015


A condition that more and more people are suffering from on a daily basis. Symptoms include but are not limited to: Deleting a picture/video after it does not reach a certain amount of likes. Posting pictures/videos that you know will elicit "thirsty" behavior i.e. half naked photos, eggplant Friday worthy material, etc. Refraining from posting a photo that wasn't taken in the perfect lighting and with perfect makeup. Trying to befriend people who have a huge following in order to acquire more followers.

Instagram is a great social media platform that has allowed its users to connect and build an audience by one simple thing, imagery. It has opened the doors to many artists, poets, singers, actors, etc. to showcase their work and build their brand. Unfortunately, on the flipside Instagram has also created a complex for others. Let me explain...

You're out for the night with some of your best friends. You're taking pictures all night long enjoying yourselves. Everyone knows that you don't post pictures after midnight, unless you're Kim Kardashian, so you decide to wait until the morning so everyone can wake and see you having the time of your life! 9 am hits and it's time. After picking the perfect filter (Valencia, duh) your picture is officially posted. Let the likes roll in!!! 1.. 4...12...29... and then... it slows down. After an hour you only have 37 likes. Then the crazy thoughts begin ."Umm... is my Instagram broken? Are people still sleeping? I normally have 77 Likes by this time. Oh! I see what's happening... they're hating because I went out and had a good time and they were stuck in the house with their boring lives. Did I not contour correctly? Maybe my dress wasn't as cute as I thought it was." ...and the list continues.

The "likes" and "following" are driving us crazy people. If we don't have what we perceive as enough the thoughts of inadequacy start to creep in. Let's not mention the users who have turned into total divas after they build a following. They have 2,000+ followers and then booking information pops up in their bio, along with the word "model" yet they have no representation. But I digress.

One of the scariest parts of all of this is the kids. Children are using Instagram and viewing all kinds of imagery. I know it because I see the things that they feel are important. The young guys are posting  every angle of their Jordans, their money I mean allowance, and then the random photo of them blowing smoke into the camera. Which.. by the way is the dumbest thing ever. People. If I've NEVER said anything educated before in my life... here it goes... STOP POSTING PHOTOS OF YOUR WEED ON THE INTERNET. The police observe it and will use it against you in the court of law. You don't think you're that important until you have a knock at your door. And no, your page being private does NOT make you exempt lol.
Back on track... the young girls are scaring me as well. The influx of THOT behavior has taken over my timeline. Yes, it will get you likes. It's been proven time and time again.. without failure. The thirst is real enough to where people will like your half naked pictures, however once it's out there it's out there. There's no need for you to remove your clothing for gratification. Ha, I guess that's funny because I model lingerie and swimwear. But modeling is my career. If that's your career choice then by all means, but if you're supposed to be in your 2nd period class but you're in the school bathroom posting pictures in your bra we have to reevaluate some things.

Last but not least... the fitness/perfect body craze. We've all seen it. That guy with the perfect abs. The girl with the tiniest waist line and the booty that Sir Mix A Lot was talking about (if you don't know who Sir Mix A Lot is... just Google him youngin lol). Yes we all follow them. We know them. We go to the gym with their body in mind. Inspiration. Motivation. All is well until you find yourself constantly scrolling through their page asking "Why not me? Why can't I have those ____? I bet people would like me more if I looked like that." Then the self doubt starts to creep in. The self hate starts to manifest. Next thing you know you're unhappy with your body. Although you've busted your behind to look your best, it's just not good enough.
When I recognized that I was questioning myself in ways similar to these I knew it was time to limit my Instagram. I had to unfollow some people, except for Miguel's girlfriend..I'm not giving her up lol. Seriously though, some people had to go. I was given THIS body for a reason. It was meant for me and my job is to treat is as well as I can. I must love it because I won't be getting another body in this lifetime. I can't look at how much people love and adore one fitness person and compare my life to that. Honestly I'm not built to work out all day, everyday. I like food and I like to make time to eat it lol.

I say all this to say.... Love yourself. Treat yourself well. Take a break from Instagram from time to time. It's a highlight reel. Girls don't wake up with a full face of makeup on looking refreshed everyday and guys muscles don't glisten in the perfect light as they're stepping into the Lamborghini with their perfect woman everyday. We're all human beings. We all have flaws. You don't need the "Likes" to establish your worth. you'd be surprised how many people are paying attention to what your doing but just keep scrolling anyway. Go read a book at the park and bring yourself back to reality... maybe take a great photo after you're done lol.
Until Next time...

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Miss Understood

Before you read this please know that this was the hardest blog for me to write. It's honest. It's raw and it's still every much of what I'm dealing with. The judgement that can follow is a bit scary but I know that there's someone out there that can benefit from my story. There's someone who can use it and improve their situation or it may be the reason why someone doesn't give up. So... Here it is...

Growing up I have always been different from the crowd. There have been friends that have come along throughout the years who have made me feel "normal". People that you just connect with. People that understand you. People that can finish your sentence without explanation. Yes, I have been blessed to meet amazing friends along the way who could assist me in every single phase of my life.

Moving to NYC has been a journey and finding friends has been a difficult task to say the least. Now I know what your thinking, "You live in a city with millions of people and you can't find one friend?" New York City is full of people, bursting with energy and lots of opportunities.. this is true. However, New York City is a cold place. It forces individuals to build a wall in order to protect themselves from the cruel, dishonest and down right dirty situations and people that are encountered daily. So with that being said, no I haven't met a group of people that I feel completely understand me. I find that often when meeting people I am either perceived as fake because I'm nicer than most people or a little too forward because of the passive aggressive tone that most people have adopted.

I am different. I get it. But this has been very difficult. There has never been a time in my life when I couldn't find a safe haven. Growing up in a small town, going to a small HBCU and going back to my small town after graduating allowed me to be myself wholeheartedly. I was surrounded by like-minded people who could understand my thoughts. Who just got me. Of course there were the side eyes and haters along the way but nothing like what I'm experiencing now.

In ways I've become an introvert. I've become used to being by myself. Relying on myself. Most of my meaningful relationships are maintained through telephone conversations, which is great but it doesn't fill the void of having a group of friends that I can hang out with weekly or that I can call at the drop of a dime and have them meet up with me. After dealing with the awkward quietness that follows my comments in group convo's I've become very withdrawn. There's nothing more discouraging when trying to get to know new people than having them treat you as an outsider and blatantly show that they don't care about you being uncomfortable. After you add to the conversation and they stare at one another then continue to speak as if you're not standing there... That's crazy yo. I'm a woman with an opinion.. with wisdom and with a voice but it doesn't feel as though that's praised or appreciated. The general consensus seems to be "Let's all think alike." I would be okay with that hadn't my parents raised me to think differently. To follow the beat of my own drum. To dare to be different. To refuse to be a carbon copy. I can't spend my life being like everyone else. What makes me so special if I look, think and act like you? I hear the whispers when I walk in a room. I endured the months of cold shoulders after I spoke my mind in a meeting. I'm over it.

I don't want to sound ungrateful because I've met some beautiful people on my journey. Most of the models at Abercrombie helped maintain what little bit of sanity I had left during the time that I worked there. They made me laugh. They made me smile. They gave me hope that I could find someone who gets it. The frustrating part was that being their manager kept me from hanging out with them outside of work due to the no fraternizing policy. So when I would leave those doors I was alone again. Very few of the managers understood me. After vocalizing my opinions I had become the girl that was "hard to manage". Ha. Story of my life. I don't believe in sitting in bad situations and saying nothing because 'that's just the way it's been'. I'm sure I could've picked my battles a little better but I've never been the person who sits around and accepts less than what I deserve. I applaud people who climb the corporate ladder. But I won't do it being someone's bitch. The movers and the shakers of this world aren't the people who just deal with everything... they're the ones who step up and speak out.

Anywho... this is not a bash Abercrombie moment.. I don't have the time or the patience to type all of that out lol. I say all this to say, there are times when I'm lonely. There are times when I want to pack it all up and go home. But I don't. I stay and I fight. I cry. I wipe my tears. I keep going. Yes I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss being understood. But I have a purpose. This isn't just about me.

I don't want people to think I'm completely unhappy because I'm not. I enjoy this city. I enjoy all that it has to offer but it has taken me on a roller coaster. At times it felt like more valleys than hills but this is my story and I accept it. I love it and I learn from it. I'm not sure if I'm going to release this but... we'll see.

Monday, January 26, 2015

I'm a Slave to my Bra: The Busty Girl Chronicles

I'm pretty sure the ladies are intrigued from the title of this blog and well... the guys are thoroughly confused.  So let me explain....

I remember the day I grew boobs. And yes I mean day. It was as if I went to sleep on night and woke up with a B cup. It sounds like fun and games until I mention that I was in the 5th grade. After the first few times I caught pre-pubescent boys staring and practically drooling at the site of my newly developed bust, I began to cover my body with oversized shirts, sweatshirts and jackets. Anything I could do to get the attention off of these things that just decided to appear out of the blue made me feel partially normal. My mom would encourage me to buy minimizer bras to keep my breasts from looking even larger than they were on my small frame. She didn't know it then but hearing that word "minimizer" created an idea in my head that my breasts needed to either be smaller or hidden. Since a breast reduction was off the table due to a young age... hiding them with my new collection of minimizers was the way to go!

One day I visited my cousin Rene, who was also "blessed" with the overnight boob thing that had been passed down to us through genetics. She explained to me how she always slept in a bra especially since she didn't want "the ladies" to suffer the effects of gravity. Seeing as though Rene was like an older sister to me this all made perfect sense. Following that day I was not only worried about hiding these big things but keeping them from ending up on my knees because hey that's what kids think happens once you become "old". That was the beginning. The beginning of me becoming a slave to my bra.

From that point on there was never a night where I slept without it. I'd wake up in a bra. Take a shower. Get back into those cups. Go throughout my day. Go to sleep. Wake up and do the same. (Of course I switched bras during that time.. I hear you wondering about that) There have even been a few times where I've stepped into the shower with my bra on because it felt like it was part of my anatomy. When I started cheerleading in the 7th grade I became the girl who needed TWO bras to have to sense of security and support that I needed. There's nothing like changing in a locker room with girls and having to explain why you need not one but two bras, especially when most of them are still wearing training bras.

One day in high school I walked into Victoria's Secret and as you ladies know, the employee pulled out her measuring tape and informed me that I was now a DD and the feeling of terror immediately followed. Me? DD? Why?!? From that day on if a shirt didn't have a built in bra, I didn't buy it. If a dress required me to go without one, I wasn't wearing it. You just could not convince me that I didn't look like a "saggy boob lady" after removing my support system. I had very few friends who could actually understand my plight. Oh and let's not mention the countless times I've gone swimsuit shopping with friends only to be let down when the store didn't have a XL top to accompany my small bottoms.

Now in my 20's I have decided to rid myself of my fears and free myself from the restraints of my bra.
(Insert dramatic superhero music)
I've accepted that my boobs will be stared at AND they're also a great asset when my friends and I don't feel like waiting in line at the club. My bra has been a security blanket but I've learned that it's absolutely okay to take it off during down time. Sleeping in a bra isn't healthy for many reasons anyway. From time to time "saggy boob lady", whoever she is, pops in my head.. but I've learned that it's nothing a good workout can't handle. In more extreme cases I can always find a surgeon who will nip and tuck these things back to perfection lol. I say all of this to say that we as women have to accept our bodies for what they are. Stop hiding behind everything and flaunt what you've got (tastefully of course... and not for Instagram either). There are women PAYING for what some of us are blessed with naturally. Enjoy your assets.. you may not have them forever.

If you're that young girl who's stuck in your bra just like I was.. please know that it's okay to be where you are. A lot of other girls may not understand but you don't have to hide anything about yourself. Gravity will not be setting in anytime and guys will stare at your boobs no matter what size they are.. they just can't help it lol.

Thanks for reading!
Stay Inspired.