Sunday, December 27, 2009

Being Needy vs. Making One Feel Needed

I've been meaning to write this but due to my hectic schedule and work @ 7:30 in the morning I barely have time to think lol. So for those who have no idea what I am talking about in the title I have come to discuss the difference between being needy and making someone feel needed.

There is a fine line between the two so lets discuss:

Needy: A rough topic. Many do not like to discuss or even refer to themself as so but the truth shall set you free! For example: You call to ask me if I would like to attend a dinner date with you later but I don't answer so you leave a voicemail. After hanging up you send a text message to say you called me. If I do not respond within an hour you text and/or call me AGAIN to ask if I got your call AND text.LMBO. That's a big no no. 1. This makes you too accessible. 2. This makes it seem as though you have no other options on earth and can give off a stalker vibe. 3. It ruins the art of the chase! No one wants a person that is impossible to catch but they don't want to have everything handed to them. Makes a boring interaction and applies doormat status to your forehead :)
Needed: A better topic. Everyone loves to feel like they are needed or wanted. Not to the point where it becomes an obsession but to know you are valued by another. Example: A guy knows that he has to shop for his mother for her birthday but has no idea what to get her. He says "If you have time would you help me find my mom a gift? I know you have great taste and I trust your judgement especially since I'm not the best in that area." Now this leaves the girl feeling all warm and fuzzy inside and lets her know you think highly of her, recognize she can help and it earns points with the guy and mom (if he decides to say you helped, which he probably won't but we'll just pretend for this scenario lol)

Now don't get me wrong, some will be intrigued by someone who is needy in a rare occasion because there are always exceptions to rules BUT on a wider scale it's weird. I'm not saying put up a brick wall and play hard to get BUT if someone doesn't respond to you or give you as much energy as you're giving them step back and if they want you they'll contact you. I believe in liking someone a lot and wanting to show them but you don't want to push them away because you are coming on too strong. If a guy doesn't text you back, wait and let him contact YOU. He will when he realizes he hasn't heard from you in a while, and if not, he's not worth your time. If a girl keeps denying your request for quality time channel your energy elsewhere. The individual that is worth your time will embrace you with the same amount of attention and affection. Those who do not weren't worth it to begin with. Learn to understand the word "NO" or when someone is just being nice not to hurt your feelings. Not quite sure if this was long enough but I don't want to beat a dead horse so enjoy.

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