Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Just Unloading This Brain of Mine

Writing a blog post has been very hard lately. There was a time when the words seem to flow so easily. I could have a conversation with a person about something so simple and I would be immediately inspired. Unfortunately I haven't been able to do that in a VERY long time. I'm sure some of that is due to my lack of clarity in life. I promise you my brain has a circus going on inside of it. There are people performing multiple acts at the same time, animals running around, lights, fire blowing and sirens sounding praying that one person will pay attention. I know that my issue is that I don't take the time to unload my brain but how do you write in your journal about thoughts that you can't seem to gather?

I don't want you guys to think that I have forgotten about my blog but I'm trying to figure my way through life right now. I have reached a point in my 20's where I have to make very important decisions about my future and this ish is cra-zy! Like I don't understand why I wasn't warned about all of this. While I was in college the world seemed to be this big ocean just waiting for me to swim through it to my success, but no one mentioned the troubled waters. No one mentioned that once you hit a certain age everyone starts pressuring you to "Be Great". No one mentioned that everyone would make me feel like an old hag because I don't have children at my age. No one mentioned that whether you like politics you will be forced to play a part in them at some point with or without you consent. No one mentioned that the older you get the more expensive you are. I mean seriously though I have to use a credit card that has money on it that technically isn't mine, just to pay you back to show you that I have the ability to pay people back on time?!!? lol Cheese and rice.

Living in New York has definitely been mind blowing in a good way. I've made  A LOT of connections and gained some great experience so far. The people who are important were quickly revealed. It's ironic how before I left everyone wanted to see me but now I'm lucky if I get a phone call from those people. I'm not mad about it but I was reminded quickly of the lessons I learned in college. It's so important to hold the people who genuinely care about you close. There are a lot of individuals who will promise you that they're on your team but will be nowhere to be found when you're in need of an ear. There will be people only in your life to take from you what they can and they have no intent on filling you back up. Unfortunately most of this is learned the hard way but there are times when we ignore that little voice telling us that someone isn't any good. No worries I haven't had anyone treat me wrong here but I have had LOTS of time to think about things since I spend a lot of time alone. My daily epiphanies are at an all-time high. lol

Ok I'm done rambling. I'm not sure if anyone will read this but hey I definitely got a little off my chest. Until next time...