I'm a Slave to my Bra: The Busty Girl Chronicles

I'm pretty sure the ladies are intrigued from the title of this blog and well... the guys are thoroughly confused.  So let me explain....

I remember the day I grew boobs. And yes I mean day. It was as if I went to sleep on night and woke up with a B cup. It sounds like fun and games until I mention that I was in the 5th grade. After the first few times I caught pre-pubescent boys staring and practically drooling at the site of my newly developed bust, I began to cover my body with oversized shirts, sweatshirts and jackets. Anything I could do to get the attention off of these things that just decided to appear out of the blue made me feel partially normal. My mom would encourage me to buy minimizer bras to keep my breasts from looking even larger than they were on my small frame. She didn't know it then but hearing that word "minimizer" created an idea in my head that my breasts needed to either be smaller or hidden. Since a breast reduction was off the table due to a young age... hiding them with my new collection of minimizers was the way to go!

One day I visited my cousin Rene, who was also "blessed" with the overnight boob thing that had been passed down to us through genetics. She explained to me how she always slept in a bra especially since she didn't want "the ladies" to suffer the effects of gravity. Seeing as though Rene was like an older sister to me this all made perfect sense. Following that day I was not only worried about hiding these big things but keeping them from ending up on my knees because hey that's what kids think happens once you become "old". That was the beginning. The beginning of me becoming a slave to my bra.

From that point on there was never a night where I slept without it. I'd wake up in a bra. Take a shower. Get back into those cups. Go throughout my day. Go to sleep. Wake up and do the same. (Of course I switched bras during that time.. I hear you wondering about that) There have even been a few times where I've stepped into the shower with my bra on because it felt like it was part of my anatomy. When I started cheerleading in the 7th grade I became the girl who needed TWO bras to have to sense of security and support that I needed. There's nothing like changing in a locker room with girls and having to explain why you need not one but two bras, especially when most of them are still wearing training bras.

One day in high school I walked into Victoria's Secret and as you ladies know, the employee pulled out her measuring tape and informed me that I was now a DD and the feeling of terror immediately followed. Me? DD? Why?!? From that day on if a shirt didn't have a built in bra, I didn't buy it. If a dress required me to go without one, I wasn't wearing it. You just could not convince me that I didn't look like a "saggy boob lady" after removing my support system. I had very few friends who could actually understand my plight. Oh and let's not mention the countless times I've gone swimsuit shopping with friends only to be let down when the store didn't have a XL top to accompany my small bottoms.

Now in my 20's I have decided to rid myself of my fears and free myself from the restraints of my bra.
(Insert dramatic superhero music)
I've accepted that my boobs will be stared at AND they're also a great asset when my friends and I don't feel like waiting in line at the club. My bra has been a security blanket but I've learned that it's absolutely okay to take it off during down time. Sleeping in a bra isn't healthy for many reasons anyway. From time to time "saggy boob lady", whoever she is, pops in my head.. but I've learned that it's nothing a good workout can't handle. In more extreme cases I can always find a surgeon who will nip and tuck these things back to perfection lol. I say all of this to say that we as women have to accept our bodies for what they are. Stop hiding behind everything and flaunt what you've got (tastefully of course... and not for Instagram either). There are women PAYING for what some of us are blessed with naturally. Enjoy your assets.. you may not have them forever.

If you're that young girl who's stuck in your bra just like I was.. please know that it's okay to be where you are. A lot of other girls may not understand but you don't have to hide anything about yourself. Gravity will not be setting in anytime and guys will stare at your boobs no matter what size they are.. they just can't help it lol.

Thanks for reading!
Stay Inspired.
Desarée

Open Diary: Who Cares What THEY Think?!?!

Having a bit of writer's block so I decided to do another Open Diary Post...

About a month ago I moved back in with my parents. I kept my move very low-key.. not because I was embarrassed but because I didn't feel like enduring the looks of disappointment or awkward conversations where the person I'm speaking to thinks I'm "moving backwards". I didn't have time to let what other people thought steer me from doing what I knew was necessary. I didn't move home because I was dirt poor or I mismanaged my money.. I moved because I'm 24 and I'm TIRED of having to live paycheck to paycheck when it's not necessary.

This is a time in my life where I should be seeing the world, enjoying my life and preparing myself for my future. One day I looked up and I had gone from the girl who worked to live to the girl who lived to work. After having to buy a new car my budget was tighter than ever and I was exhausted from stressing over finances.  There will come times in our lives where we have to make decisions based on what WE know is right and not worry about what other people think. I won't lie and say I didn't have the idea that people would look down on me..because I did. I feared that people would judge me for moving back to the town that I was dying to leave. I was scared that people would think I failed or I was broke or I bit off way more than I could chew. I will say I matured tremendously during the year I lived on my own but in the end I had to remind myself that no matter what others say.. I know who I am.. I know my situation and most importantly the people who matter know why I'm here.

With all this being said... I challenge everyone reading this to really rearrange your thinking and practice blocking out what "They" say. "They" don't pay your bills and "They" surely don't make the rules in YOUR life. I'm working on changing my thought process and learning  to drown out those negative sayings that play over and over in my head. Enjoy your life... you only get one!

Until next time :)

I'm not a fan of Wiz but this quote is #real

The Single Lady's Guide to Valentines Day

Valentine's Day. The two words that can instantaneously fill your heart with joy or rip it from your insides. For the past few years I found myself single around this time of year. Each year it seemed as if February 14th crept up on my calendar just to remind my of my extreme singleness. I remember thinking "This is such a stupid holiday!" "What kind of people celebrate this crap?!" and "Ughhhh I'm so lonely (insert teardrop)" Every year there are people suggesting things for couples to do but I think we need to change that! So, here I am to mix it up a bit and give the single ladies a shout out! These are a few things I've done for myself during this trying time of year.

1. Take it easy on yourself!
     You are single for a reason but that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you! You don't need to be in a relationship to flaunt it on this one day and be miserable the rest of the year because you decided to settle! Don't tell yourself you're ugly, unworthy, unloveable or anything else that will hurt you to the core. Encourage yourself and appreciate the place you're at in your life.

2. Look good for YOU.
    Being in a relationship and should not be the only reasons you get dolled up. If you can't love yourself enough to look good for you then how can you do it for someone else? Go get your hair done. Dance to your favorite music in your underwear. Shed those few pounds you've been trying to. The better you look, the better you feel and the more men to drool over you as you enjoy your single life ;)

3. Don't close yourself off.
    One year I made the big mistake of shutting myself off from the world. I locked myself in my dorm room so I didn't have to witness everyone enjoying the "day of love". When I resurfaced I didn't feel any better than I did when I left and I missed out on a few good laughs at the expense of the random couples being caught "in the act" by the dorm director lol. It's not the end of the world... couples go back to being normal in a day or two and argue over "Who was that girl calling you love on your Facebook wall?!?!" At this point you'll have comic relief!

4. Do something nice for YOU!
    In my singleness I vowed to myself that if I had no valentine I would treat myself the way a man should treat me on that day. This idea helped me learn what I would expect my future boo to do for me and it also gave me a GREAT feeling. There is nothing like ripping the tag off a very sexy dress that you purchased for yourself or the smell of those new pair of shoes that will catch everyone's eyes as you step in a crowded room! Don't wait for the "knight in shining armor" to appear to do these things for you (but when he does show up make him spoil you lol)

5. Lean on your friends!
     Two years ago I asked my friend Ky to be my valentine. I was involved with a guy who didn't even acknowledge Valentine's Day and I felt like crap! To say the least I called on my friend and she was there. We went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and laughed our hearts out. We spent a pretty penny but like I said earlier we spent it on ourselves and WE DESERVED IT! Life was easier that day in the midst of all the couples with their candelight dinners and googley eyes because I had support. I wasn't hiding under my comforter and eating icecream.

I hope these things help you single ladies because they helped me tremendously! Enjoy Valentine's Day and Don't forget it's Self Love Day too! (I soooo made that up lol)

Until next time!