I don't know how long its been but I've been in a funk for way too long. It feels like weeks, maybe months since I've been able to really appreciate my life for what it is. Over a period of time I became the person who was more focused on what I couldn't obtain than the plethora of accomplishments I have.
As I reflect on my feelings of yesterday (literally yesterday) I can say I'm happy I've decided to take my life back. For those who know me (or follow me on Twitter) you know that I have been having car trouble. Long story short my car needs a new motor and I'm not in the position to pay for that. For the past 2 months I have been contemplating how I afford to pay for it and have been caught in the whirlwind of 'to buy a new car or not to buy a new car'. Worried about what I don't have I didn't stop and see that I'm still blessed because my boyfriend has allowed me to use his car until I situate myself. Here I am sooo concerned about what I need to do next that I didn't even see that I if it wasn't for him I would be walking everywhere.
You see... we all have our troubles, our times where we want to quit and our times where the world can seem so big and we're so small. It's easy to be captivated by the have nots and wants in our lives. Although I've had my share of let downs this past year I had to reflect on the many things I've accomplished. I have my own place, I've made a name for myself with my modeling career and I've done it all on my own. There are very few people who can say that they've done so much for themselves in so little time. Of course there's always more work to be done but if you don't take the time to say "Self, you've done well!" You'll spend life being miserable.
For a while now I've had the feeling as though I was floating through life. No real destination, no concept of time and an urgency to get through the week before I make it through the day. This is NO way to live. Today I decided that this way of living will never be good enough for me. I will no longer subject myself to being unhappy when I have SO much to celebrate. I am surrounded by people who love me, I have a job that provides for my life and most of all I have my health. I refuse to not celebrate the things that God has blessed me with any longer. I encourage every individual reading this to rearrange your thinking and start smelling the roses. Don't allow yourself to be consumed with the things you cannot achieve and what you don't have. Enable yourself to look around you and see the beauty in the life you lead. There are people who don't have food, family, friends, a place to live, clothes amongst MANY other things and would switch places with you in a heart beat! If there is anything to take from my story it is to cherish the things you possess and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments. Refrain from be too hard on yourself. Life is too short to be focused on woulda, coulda, shoulda's. Most importantly never forget to put God first... in the midst of the storm there isn't anyone who will keep you grounded like the lord.
I love you all and stay encouraged.