A Brand New Kind of Me...

As I sit here and listen to 'Brand New Me' by Alicia Keys I'm just overwhelmed with emotion. The very first time I heard this song it spoke in volumes to me. Let me explain...

If you've been following my updates/posts these past few months you'll see that I have been working towards building my portfolio and getting signed to an agency. I don't know how else to explain this but people I found to be fimiliar in my past have become strangers recently. I'm learning that a lot of it is because, as they say, I'm "Different".  That word offended me and got under my skin in so many ways. I can't begin to calculate the amount of time spent trying to prove to people that I'm the same ol Desaree. Now I'm embrace different.

For those who I've met in the past few years they wouldn't know there was a time I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I wasn't very sure of who I was. I knew I possessed talent but it was hard to get people to see me through the glasses and my teeth pre-braces. I struggled to stay true to myself and still have friends. As a teenager I learned quickly that if you shine too bright around people who need to be the star in the room you become an outcast. On numerous occasions I would dumb myself down to maintain friendships and relationships. I don't feel badly because of this time because it was a deep lesson that I had to learn. Somewhere between the back roads of Cheyney, PA and I-295 I found myself as I drove back and forth from my alma mater. I stopped apologizing for who I am and who I'm meant to become.
The word different doesn't bother me anymore. I'd rather be different and memorable than to be the same and blend in. As I grow I'm glad I've grown from the little girl who used to argue and start a fight at the drop of a dime. She'll always be apart of me but there are BETTER parts of me. The intellectual. The lady. The geek. The weirdo. The talent. The everything.. the ME.

I can now be happy for my accomplishments and not be ashamed of my joy. Nothing has come to me without hard work and struggle. I am finally at a place in my life when I can say I feel closer to my dream and I'm the best me I can be. I'm a firm believer that everyone has the ability to reach their FULL potential but that can't be done by pulling others down or standing by watching everyone else accomplish goals. Get out there and FIGHT for what you want. I have no idea where this journey called life plans to take me but I can say I'm brave enough to find out. Stop letting moments pass you by where you don't stretch out to fulfill your dreams. Don't let life come and go without you knowing who YOU are. There are so many people in this world but you are the most important one out of them all. You are special. You are beautiful. You are GREAT. Stop letting others opinions of you stear you away from your dreams. Stop letting fear be your reason not to. Stop letting other people live your life for you! Anyone with a dream has been afraid at one point but they didn't let that stop them.

The word different doesn't bother me anymore. I'd rather be different and memorable than to be the same and blend in. As I grow I'm glad I've grown from the little girl who used to argue and start a fight at the drop of a dime. She'll always be apart of me but there are BETTER parts of me. The intellectual. The lady. The geek. The weirdo. The talent. The everything.. the ME.

These lyrics have the courage to say everything that I couldn't articulate at on point.

If I talk a little louder
If I speak up when you're wrong
If I walk a little taller
I've been under you too long
If you notice that I'm different
Don't take it personally
Don't be mad
It's just a brand new kinda me
That ain't bad
I found a brand new kinda free

Ooh, it took a long, long road to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
I've taken one too many excuses
One to many lies
Don't be surprised, oh, said, you look surprised