Relationships: Find someone complimentary to you.

A male friend of mine frequently discusses his life as a bachelor (it is eventful to say the least). He is dating a few women trying to figure out what he wants out of a woman, how they would fit in his life, and if he wants to be in a relationship. Through many of the stories he has given me much insight as to how men think and the difference between what women think men are trying to say and what they are REALLY saying.

From our discussions I have come to have my favorite and least favorite of his 'lady friends'. There was one specifically who I deemed as my least favorite. I had drawn the conclusion that she was not fit for him because she consistently asked him for money, would frequently use his car, and seemed to not offer anything other than intimacy. Of course I made it a point to voice these feelings to him (hey how could I resist?) and expressed that any woman that was self-respecting, self-sufficient and to an extent, self-reliant would not ask for what she does. For a while he continued to keep her around but expressed he was unhappy because she has his car and didn't pick him up on time or another reason. One day during our discussion I was beginning to tell him I don't understand why he still deals with her and then.... I had an epiphany.

Although I saw her as unfit, he didn't. Not because he was keeping her around for intimacy but she was providing all the things he felt HE needed as a man. He enjoys being able to provide, hence giving her money and letting her borrow his car. When he needed food she didn't mind cooking and if he needed groceries she would shop for the both of them when she received her source of income.

See, every man doesn't need the same thing from a woman. Some may need a woman who cooks, some men may prefer to cook. Some men require that they are the only provider for the household, while others are turned off if a woman doesn't have a career. What I failed to realize was that it's not about a man and woman possessing the 'right' characteristics it's about them completing one another. Where one lacks, the other should make up for and vice versa. Dedicate today to finding out what you bring to the table and what kind of person would best fit what you want and need out of life today, tomorrow, and years from now. It may not be the same as your friends but it's for YOU, the most important party in your life.

Signed,
Desarée Franchon