Forgiveness.

Forgiveness:
–noun


1. act of forgiving; state of being forgiven.


2. disposition or willingness to forgive.

Forgiveness... one act I struggle with. One act that seems like it takes an enormous amount of energy but once done releases an incredible load most of us do not recognize we are bearing.
 
This past month I have reconciled with two people I haven't spoken to in YEARS. We were all inseperable but one day things just turned sour. There have been several times where we have seen each other over the years and did not speak or act as if we knew one another. I carried ill feelings towards them for a long time, not knowing the root of the problem just not liking them because they did not like me. One day I stopped myself and said this can no longer continue. I was haboring feelings that weren't hurting anyone but me. Turning my face up at the mention of a name, memory of them, or thought of them. How healthy was this? They didn't know I was doing these things. They could not hear the smart remarks I made.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” -Catherine Ponder

I ran into each of them at seperate times like it was planned. The moment I saw them.. all the past history and words that were said no longer mattered. I had grown over the years and matured. We may not be close again like we once were but to let everything go and officially move on felt freeing. I still love them as people and thank God for them. I will forever carry the lessons I learned from our situation.

Forgiving someone is not a form of weakness. The weak person holds on to those feelings and demolishes their own life at the cost of their problems. If something happens to a person you haven't forgiven ask yourself if you could live knowing that you had the chance to forgive them. All those mean words said to the person were the last memories they have of you.

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” -Robert Muller

If you haven't forgiven someone choose today to be the day to do so.

Signed,

Desarée Franchon

Lesson #5,000,001: Everyone's NOT #teamyou

From birth we learn lessons daily. How to tie our shoes, how to button our pants, how to talk to people and the list continues. As of late I have been constantly reminded of one very important lesson I learned a long time ago: Everyone's not on your team.

I've never been the type to expect every person on earth to be #teamDesaree BUT when it comes to the people I hold close to me, I always think they will support me the same way I would them. As usual I am smacked in the face with reality when I discover that an individual does not believe in me. This idea may be juvenile and I may be naive but I can 't help it. If I have a friend and they're making positive decisions or pursuing their dream I am in cheerleader mode for them. Many that surround me always feed me words of encouragement and I appreciate EVERY bit of it wholeheartedly, it's just a tough pill to swallow when people you care about join the list of non-supporters or worse, haters.

I'm learning that your biggest cheerleader should be yourself. On days when there is no one around to pump us up or give us that push we may need is the time when self-motivation is most important. If our drive is reliant on the encouragement of others, we will fail. There is an extra piece of the puzzle that is most important in each of our lives and that is the person living it a.k.a. YOU. I always here my mom saying "Man will always fail you. We're built that way. The disciples betrayed Jesus. But God will never fail us, always count on him to give you the strength you need." I think the other lesson I am supposed to learn is we already have the strength within us. It doesn't matter if others support you when YOU support you. Ha! The list of lessons keep growing!

#stayinspired
Desaree Franchon

A Quote to stay inspired...

Because your own strength is unequal to the task, do not assume that it is beyond the powers of man; but if anything is within the powers and province of man, believe that it is within your own compass also.
~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Abortion: Is it affecting us more than we know?

I'm not here to state my opinion on abortion. I believe everyone has the right to choose, we only have to answer to God at the end of the day. How I feel does not impact or affect any ones life BUT there is something that I saw that caught me off guard. You may disagree with my thoughts, and that's fine but that's just what they are.. MY thoughts. I will share the image and continue from there....

Now, this billboard was in New York City for all to view. I saw this image today on facebook after a friend of mine posted it. Needless to say I had mixed emotions. At first I read it... blinked twice.. and thought "ok.. what's the big deal? It's TRUE." A few moments passed and then it hit me. All I could murmur is "Wow."

I soon realized that the saying on the billboard is deeper than the statistic of African American women having countless abortions. This billboard made it clear, this is what people think of us. Now when I say people I don't mean the every single person on this earth but more of the picture or stereotype that is perpetuated in this world about African Americans. I  had multiple phrases stemming from this billboard pop into my head: "hyper sexual", "irresponsible", "murderers", etc. I imagined myself walking down the street seeing this in the middle of the busiest city in the country and having these words paint a picture of my people and myself to everyone who encounters it. I am not apart of the statistic, but they do not know that. All they can see is African Americans are killing their unborn children.... and that's it.

I read comments and gathered these thoughts. Although the saying is correct, because the statistics of African American children being aborted is at an all time high, there were other approaches that could have been taken. Information on alternate choices could have been displayed (adoption, pregnancy prevention info, etc.) They could have posted the statistic and found a positive way to encourage women to recognize the severity and strive to decrease the number.

I soon began to wonder... why was this message so important to put out? Does anyone post billboards saying the leading cause of death for any other race or ethnicity? Does anyone report the amount of Caucasian children dying in suburban areas from drug use? Does anyone report the amount of asian, latino, or middle eastern children killing their parents on billboards? No.

I've learned that we live in a country that constantly feeds these negative images of our people. How does one get past that? How do I show them by not saying a word that I am not who they see on the news, on movies or in a demeaning music video? I've never been shot at, nor do I possess any "baby daddies", nor have I been in jail, and my father and mother are still married. Am I better than anyone who has, does, or will do these things? No. But those stereotypes are not my reality. When do we begin to break the cycle? When will we as a people begin to eliminate these negative ideas? When we we get back the the very things our ancestors faught and died for? When will we as a unit want more for ourselves?? When will we begin to fight again?

There are many African-Americans who have contributed GREAT things to this world and many continue to do so today. We have got to continue on that path. There are no perfect people but we can strive for our best. We are much better than we are given credit for. We are a people that have the same blood running through them that was once of kings and queens. I guess this was a great way to end Black History Month. We have to wake up people. All are welcome to comment.

For those who feel like they want to quit:

Don't You Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

Whe he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It might be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Open Diary Entry: One of Those Days, I am Human

I've been thinking about writing a blog that was true to me and how I'm feeling, no holding back, no layers. I've learned that most people can identify with how you're feeling or what your going through. There are many times when we feel alone but don't recognize there are millions of people who have felt the same way you do. So here is me giving of myself... writing down my very feelings and praying that this can help someone else get through the same thing.

Lately I've been frustrated.
Frustrated with the pace of life, frustrated with watching other models, actors, and people in the entertainment industry do the very things I've been dreaming of since I could dream. I'm not jealous, I've very happy for them all... I just wish my life would unfold already. At night I sit and wonder what I could be doing differently, what can I do to gain exposure, who can I talk to to get a foot in the door. Every day I strive for my dream, even while I'm at work selling phones... I'm thinking about traveling the world, walking down runways and being in major films.

I hurt at times. I worry that I'm not good enough. I wonder if this is all something I have going on in my head that will never be reality. Some days I know in my heart of hearts that THIS is right, others I wonder how it could ever be. Yesterday I walked into Victoria's Secret and almost shed a tear as I looked at the posters of models in the very place I imagined myself. You see I'M HUNGRY. I've never wanted anything so much in my life. One day someone said to me "I've seen your modeling pictures. Are you serious about this or is this for show?" I wanted to scream... I wanted to yell all types of obscenities and ask them where the hell they've been. I don't do this for show, I could care less about the public showcase. THIS is about the feeling I get EVERY TIME I do what I love. The rush of adrenaline, the moment before I walk out and want to run the opposite direction and think "what have I gotten myself into?". The moment where I have to pee so bad because my nerves are a wreck. Then the last moment when I say " F@!k this, I have what it takes... now shut this thing DOWN " and kill it!

See... I'm human, I wonder if I'm good enough even when I know I am. I'm tired of waiting for the world to recognize my gifts, my talents, and what I possess. But I won't quit. I won't give up. I know this thing is deeper than me. I know that one day it will all happen. It's just a waiting game. If you ever feel like I do/did just remember... all storms come to an end to release the sunshine. Stay inspired and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Signed,
Desarée Franchon