Dear Aspiring Models...

Two and a half years ago I decided to venture out and pursue modeling. It has definitely been a ride to where I am now and there is much work remaining to be done. Every now and then I am approached and asked questions regarding the modeling industry. I am no expert but I have my many experiences and tales of my journey thus far. I have always been the type of person to give advice and honest opinion when it comes to anything. After being asked the same questions several times I figured it was time to write a blog telling aspiring models what I wish someone would have told me and what I feel you should know.

1. Your image is everything.

Often you will be approached by "photographers" asking you to work with them. Most of them will be just starting like yourself and can only offer TFP/CD (time/trade for print/cd). This was how I started my portfolio and learned my angles. I had the opportunity to go back in those cd's that the photographers gave me and I could see my mistakes, weaknesses, and what I needed to work on. As I progressed and gained experience I learned the importance of quality in the work of the people I chose to work with. Lighting, angles and chemistry are very important on a set. There is nothing more grueling than seeing several pictures of yourself looking awkward and ugly on Facebook because the photographer posted EVERY shot from your shoot, good and bad. The photographers you choose to shoot with should be concerned about their image and yours. Any self respecting photographer will not post multiple pictures of you looking cross-eyed and pigeon toed because that is a reflection of their quality of work. Once people view those images of you they are now the representation of you and you're capabilities. It's ok to be picky with who you shoot with. If you're approached by a guy with a camera and you know they won't give you the results you need for your portfolio... it's ok to kindly say "No thank you. I'm looking to take my portfolio in another direction."

2. What are your deal breakers?
What do you want to be known for?

Starting out I wanted to do EVERYTHING! Runway, print, commercial, glamour, acting, etc. I quickly learned that if you don't set your boundaries you will be asked to do EVERYTHING, literally. On Model Mayhem I had photographers asking me to model for nude projects left and right. Once I posted "I do not do nudes but all other creativity is ok" I had people asking for partial nudes, bondage shoots, etc. Needless to say I declined BUT I learned the lesson. So here comes the time when you need to ask yourself... what kind of model do you want to be? Do you mind nudity? How about lingerie? Swimwear? Know your boundaries. If you are uncomfortable with something that is fine. I highly recommend that you don't participate in any shoots that you are totally against because it will read on the camera. If I'm butt naked and exposed to the camera I could see me freaking out lol. On the flip side implied nudity isn't hard for me.. I'm actually rather comfortable. Those are my personal feelings and I know myself well enough not to take it to where I wouldn't be comfotable and confident with what image I am putting out of myself.

3. You never know who knows who.

I've seen many models miss out on a booking or job because of something they did publicly. It could be your tweets to your portfolio that turns a designer off from you. The word of mouth plays a strong part in making decisions on who is chosen to work on a project. The industry is smaller than you think and the mention of your name can either be your biggest or worst enemy. Be mindful of the things you say and the images you choose to represent yourself. Half naked pictures in your bathroom mirror aren't always the thing that makes someone say "I NEED HER" lol.

Also utilize networking! The man you're sitting next to on the train could know the agency director of Ford or Elite. If people ask you who you are and what you do .. say it with confidence. If you find yourself at an industry mixer pay close attention to the people in the room and try to find out who people are. There is nothing wrong with meeting new people.. they lead to new opportunities. The daughter of Ralph Lauren's booker could be in room! Just to think you could have the chance to meet someone who has the potential to change your life in an instant just by one conversation. You may not meet someone major every time but you could meet the one person who opens the next door you need.

4. The smallest seed can grow into the strongest tree.

Starting off you will quickly learn that modeling isn't all glamorous as you thought. It involves a lot of waiting, sacrifice and caffeine at times. There will be many unpaid shoots and fashion shows that you may see as pointless. Although they may seem strenuous and the lack of potential can be overwhelming you never know what can come from the smallest planting of a seed. Example: I auditioned for a show over a year ago. I was doing this a favor for a friend of my mothers who owned a boutique and needed models. After having to pay $20 for registration and hours of torture backstage I deemed the show pointless and a waste of time. A week or so later I was contacted by a designer who I walked for in that same show. She was in need of a model for a shoot in a few days and I happily agreed to her offer... and that my friends is the beginning of the seed growing. I didn't know it at the time but there was much more in store. I am now the muse for that very designer, Latasha Hall of Lillie Designs. Had I not agreed to attend that show I'm not sure if I'd have the opportunity to meet her.

5. You will make mistakes... and that's fine.

A lot like life, in your career you will make mistakes. I want you to drop the idea that you will always be "the best" and will kill it every time. Of course I want you to always do your best but there will be photo shoots when you think "Yea that wasn't my best shoot" and that's ok!
There may also be times where you are left high and dry. You may find yourself working with someone who didn't fulfill their end of the bargain but there is no contract saying they must complete the agreement. I had that happen to me and now when I deal with an agreement I need something signed so both parties are clear as to what is expected and if the jobs aren't fulfilled legal actions can be taken.

6. "Where do I start?"

I think this is the most frequently asked question..

I don't feel as though there is one specific way to say how to begin modeling. Every model has their own story BUT the ultimate goal is to be signed to an agency, working and making major bucks ;) I started off on my own. I called a local photographer I knew through a friend, got a few outfits together, went to his house, did my hair and makeup and shot away! This was my way of starting to build my portfolio which is very important. Your portfolio is your way of showing what you are capable of. Soon after I googled agencies in New York and found out their times for open calls and went to as many as I could. This was a great experience because I had the chance to speak to a few agency directors personally and they informed me on how to attend open calls (what to wear, no makeup, bring snapshots). Model Mayhem also opened the realm of modeling for me. Designers, photographers and makeup artists are always looking for models and I found many shows and photo shoots through this site.

7. You are you.. OWN it!

As a model you will experience a lot of poking and proding. Many people will say the words "I'm sorry you're not what we're looking for" and not care what you feel after that. Others will criticize you to your face and say you need to change things about yourself. I've learned to accept who I am. It's easier to live with that than spend time trying to change myself to what others expect me to be. I'd love to be the typical high fashion model but my body type doesn't allow that. I've been told to get a breast reduction, I need to lose weight and that I need to lose my hips. These things can be pretty disheartening to hear at times but I found a way to make those very things what I love most about myself. I can change my bust size by going under the knife but I love them just the way they are. You will have to develop this same mentality because the people in this industry can and will try to break you down. It's ok if one person doesn't like you because there are 10 others waiting for someone JUST like you!

I pray this helped some of you. If you have any other questions please ask.. I will make a part 2 :) Until next time...

The Single Lady's Guide to Valentines Day

Valentine's Day. The two words that can instantaneously fill your heart with joy or rip it from your insides. For the past few years I found myself single around this time of year. Each year it seemed as if February 14th crept up on my calendar just to remind my of my extreme singleness. I remember thinking "This is such a stupid holiday!" "What kind of people celebrate this crap?!" and "Ughhhh I'm so lonely (insert teardrop)" Every year there are people suggesting things for couples to do but I think we need to change that! So, here I am to mix it up a bit and give the single ladies a shout out! These are a few things I've done for myself during this trying time of year.

1. Take it easy on yourself!
     You are single for a reason but that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you! You don't need to be in a relationship to flaunt it on this one day and be miserable the rest of the year because you decided to settle! Don't tell yourself you're ugly, unworthy, unloveable or anything else that will hurt you to the core. Encourage yourself and appreciate the place you're at in your life.

2. Look good for YOU.
    Being in a relationship and should not be the only reasons you get dolled up. If you can't love yourself enough to look good for you then how can you do it for someone else? Go get your hair done. Dance to your favorite music in your underwear. Shed those few pounds you've been trying to. The better you look, the better you feel and the more men to drool over you as you enjoy your single life ;)

3. Don't close yourself off.
    One year I made the big mistake of shutting myself off from the world. I locked myself in my dorm room so I didn't have to witness everyone enjoying the "day of love". When I resurfaced I didn't feel any better than I did when I left and I missed out on a few good laughs at the expense of the random couples being caught "in the act" by the dorm director lol. It's not the end of the world... couples go back to being normal in a day or two and argue over "Who was that girl calling you love on your Facebook wall?!?!" At this point you'll have comic relief!

4. Do something nice for YOU!
    In my singleness I vowed to myself that if I had no valentine I would treat myself the way a man should treat me on that day. This idea helped me learn what I would expect my future boo to do for me and it also gave me a GREAT feeling. There is nothing like ripping the tag off a very sexy dress that you purchased for yourself or the smell of those new pair of shoes that will catch everyone's eyes as you step in a crowded room! Don't wait for the "knight in shining armor" to appear to do these things for you (but when he does show up make him spoil you lol)

5. Lean on your friends!
     Two years ago I asked my friend Ky to be my valentine. I was involved with a guy who didn't even acknowledge Valentine's Day and I felt like crap! To say the least I called on my friend and she was there. We went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and laughed our hearts out. We spent a pretty penny but like I said earlier we spent it on ourselves and WE DESERVED IT! Life was easier that day in the midst of all the couples with their candelight dinners and googley eyes because I had support. I wasn't hiding under my comforter and eating icecream.

I hope these things help you single ladies because they helped me tremendously! Enjoy Valentine's Day and Don't forget it's Self Love Day too! (I soooo made that up lol)

Until next time!

Open Diary: You Think You Know But You Have No Idea

I was encouraged to write a blog talking about the things that are currently going on in my life, the struggle I face in pursuit of my dreams and my everyday happenings. After hearing the idea I knew it was a great concept but I was terrified to say the least. As I always say, I'm not one to get too personal and expose my life to the outside world. Not because I don't want to expose my flaws but the sense of vunerability is a bit uncomfortable and vunerable is not something I just do. Although my stomach is turning as I type.. I know this will be a great read sooooo HERE WE GO!

Everyday I fight. I fight to be recognized, acknowledged and thought of. I'm a model and I'm great at what I do but I haven't found the right person/people to propel myself to the next level. There is nothing more disheartening then knowing you possess talent and the world seems to be blinded to it. 4-5 days a week I put on my T-Mobile shirt to sell and troubleshoot phones for customers but while I'm helping them all I can think is "Damn this is not my dream.. While I'm helping them I could be in NY going to agencies and getting my name out there!" Don't get me wrong.. I thank God for my job and all it has provided me with BUT this is not the life for me. I'm not meant to work here for the rest of my life.. that's just not in my cards. Everytime I visit New York City I feel as though someone has returned the breath to my body and a great fire has been lit inside of me.

With the daydreaming of being on the covers of magazines, starring in major motion pictures and envisioning myself on the Victoria's Secret Runway I am faced with my reality. I am a 24 year old college graduate working in a field that has NOTHING to do with my degree and I am tired of watching others obtain "success". I don't have the time to sit at my computer and promote myself all day and I don't have the extra money to pay someone else to do it. It can be a bit frustrating watching others living my dream although I know I'm here for a reason.

Growing up adults would always say "Stay young forever" and I would respond "Nope.. I can't wait til' I'm grown!" but not I wish I could go back to the days where I had no cares. No responsibilites. No student loans. No car payments. No rent. No drama... just fun, the 3 ft. pool in the back yard and Now and Laters lol. I don't regret any of the decisions I've made in my past because they've made me the mature adult I have (by the grace of God) turned out to be. In spite of my struggles and everyday battles to get out of the bed and do the very things I don't want to do until I get to where I can do the things I want to... I remain happy.

To anyone with a dream.. keep going. You never know how close you are. Listen to the voice of God.. it won't lead you astray. Keep me in your prayers and I will definitely keep you in mines! Oh and do me a favor.. if you see me promoting myself help a sista out and tell your friends because I can't do this alone lol!

Desaree

There's Only One You... Everyone Else is Taken.

Lately I've noticed the amount of young ladies gravitating towards looking like what tv says is "hot". When I say "hot" I'm referring to the girls in music videos, on reality tv shows, and the demeaning lyrics in the music we hear everyday.

Through life I have always been the girl who marches to the beat of her own drum. To me there is nothing like paving my own path for others to recognize there are other ways to accomplish things. We all have our moments of losing sight of individuality. One day I started to notice the way guys drooled over girls in the limelight and I wanted to see what that was like. I tried my best to look like the girls on tv so guys would find me attractive that didn't last long because I looked so out of place. In high school I was excited to go to a club because I was 17 "and grown" so I put on these extremely short shorts and a shirt that exposed every bit of my bra and stomach and you couldn't tell me I wasn't cute! That night I ran into a guy who I really liked and he was flirting with me so you know I was hype! Long story short he asked if I wanted to go home with him after telling him I wasn't that kind of girl he said "Well that's not the message you're sending with that outfit." I will NEVER forget those words because that was the moment I realized I wasn't representing who I am as a person. I'm not saying you have to cover up like a nun but there is a way to look sexy as a lady and sexy as the girl you want to take home.

Too many girls make the mistake I made that night trying to get guys to like them based on their body. Often we hear guys talk about how fat a girls butt is or how nice her boobs look and for some reason that sends off a signal to our brain that says "I have to be that". As I sit here today I wish someone would have given me this quote: Be yourself... Everyone else is already taken - Oscar Wilde. We live in an era where girls want to be the Nicki Minaj's, Snooki's, or Lady Gaga's of the world but they already exist. No matter how goofy, crazy, loud, weird, book loving, or awkward you may be YOU ARE SPECIAL. You were created to bring the light you have to this world, not try to shine like someone else. There will always be beautiful women in entertainment and guys will always love to look at them but trust me.. those beautiful women don't wake up red carpet ready lol. They get out of bed, brush their teeth and put one pant leg on at a time just like you. You are worth so much and should never give it away just to be accepted or seen as beautiful. Love yourself more than anyone else can and always stay true to the real you.

Until next time :)

Open Diary: A must read.

I don't know how long its been but I've been in a funk for way too long. It feels like weeks, maybe months since I've been able to really appreciate my life for what it is. Over a period of time I became the person who was more focused on what I couldn't obtain than the plethora of accomplishments I have.

As I reflect on my feelings of yesterday (literally yesterday) I can say I'm happy I've decided to take my life back. For those who know me (or follow me on Twitter) you know that I have been having car trouble. Long story short my car needs a new motor and I'm not in the position to pay for that. For the past 2 months I have been contemplating how I afford to pay for it and have been caught in the whirlwind of  'to buy a new car or not to buy a new car'. Worried about what I don't have I didn't stop and see that I'm still blessed because my boyfriend has allowed me to use his car until I situate myself. Here I am sooo concerned about what I need to do next that I didn't even see that I if it wasn't for him I would be walking everywhere.

You see... we all have our troubles, our times where we want to quit and our times where the world can seem so big and we're so small. It's easy to be captivated by the have nots and wants in our lives. Although I've had my share of let downs this past year I had to reflect on the many things I've accomplished. I have my own place, I've made a name for myself with my modeling career and I've done it all on my own. There are very few people who can say that they've done so much for themselves in so little time. Of course there's always more work to be done but if you don't take the time to say "Self, you've done well!" You'll spend life being miserable.

For a while now I've had the feeling as though I was floating through life. No real destination, no concept of time and an urgency to get through the week before I make it through the day. This is NO way to live. Today I decided that this way of living will never be good enough for me. I will no longer subject myself to being unhappy when I have SO  much to celebrate. I am surrounded by people who love me, I have a job that provides for my life and most of all I have my health. I refuse to not celebrate the things that God has blessed me with any longer. I encourage every individual reading this to rearrange your thinking and start smelling the roses. Don't allow yourself to be consumed with the things you cannot achieve and what you don't have. Enable yourself to look around you and see the beauty in the life you lead. There are people who don't have food, family, friends, a place to live, clothes amongst MANY other things and would switch places with you in a heart beat! If there is anything to take from my story it is to cherish the things you possess and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments. Refrain from be too hard on yourself. Life is too short to be focused on woulda, coulda, shoulda's. Most importantly never forget to put God first... in the midst of the storm there isn't anyone who will keep you grounded like the lord.

I love you all and stay encouraged.

I love my NATURAL hair!

As of September 5, 2011 my hair is 100% natural! Some of you may not know what exactly that means so let me break it down... Natural meaning my hair is no longer chemically treated and my hair grows the way it was given to me by nature (curly, kinky and full). At the beginning of 2011 my hair was left damaged due to my overprocessing during relaxers and I knew I needed to get it back to a healthy state. Before that time I contemplated going natural but feared the idea of learning how to take care of "nappy" hair. I think it's funny looking back now.. Women often say "Oh I can't do the natural thing my hair is TOO nappy" but that's only in comparison to your bone straight hair so the two seem like polar opposites. I found myself thinking "My hair is TOO nappy to deal with" so I went with what I knew and got a sew-in weave. I ended up having weaves for about 5 months and somewhere in that time span I declared that I was transitioning to natural hair(This is the period of time since one's last relaxer and both hair textures remain) By September I could no longer see myself spending 45 minutes trying to detangle two different hair textures SO I snapped and slowly but surely started chopping my hair off lol. Thinking of it now it seems like an out of body experiece.. like the load that's slowing you down.. I wouldn't stop cutting until I had every piece of relaxed hair OFF MY HEAD.

December 5th marked my 3rd month post big chop (the cutting of all relaxed hair) and I am extremely happy with my decision to embrace my natural curl pattern. Learning how to take care of my hair and keep it healthy has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I would never discourage any from continuing to get relaxers BUT I will say that going natural is not as bad as you may think. It does take patience but with research and listening to your hair it makes the process a lot easier. With me being a visual learner Youtube has helped my journey tremendously. There are countless tutorials on things like shampooing your hair to styling your hair like your favorite celebrity.

I don't intend on making my blog all about natural hair BUT it is a part of my life so I will be talking about it here and there.

To everyone on their journey to healthy or natural hair.. stay encouraged! Surround yourself with great people and others who are working towards the same goal. I owe a lot of my strength to my friends Tot, Chantal (Nikki) and Michele. They have been the biggest help in my journey.. seeing their success let's me know it's possible to obtain my hair goals! Stay inspired and stay tuned!

A little of my journey:

 My hair in September 2010. It was so thin from being relaxed.. I was achieving length BUT my hair was never full and I couldn't stand that!

 This is me January 1, 2011. I had my last relaxer (at the time I didn't know it was) but I loved my short cut! Although I was soooo in love with the cut my hair grew extremely fast and I ended up relaxing it way too often.

 The sew-in that saved my life! My sister in the weave queen and hooks me up EVERYTIME she does my hair!

My first day wearing my twa to work. I was NERVOUS and feeling insecure. I wore it out for a few days and then the wigs returned.

Almost 3 months and I got my hair straightened. Loved it!!!!