The Game of Love: Make Your Own Rules

As of the 25th of September my boyfriend and I have officially been together for 6 months! Now I am very quiet when it comes to my relationship for my own personal reasons but when there are moments to celebrate I am a little more open.
We spent the weekend together but on the 25th I wanted to do something EXTRA special... so special that I didn't realize I was stressing myself out behind the idea of doing something SO over the top. Let's just say I went through the "I have nothing to wear", "I feel ugly", "Am I fun enough?" and "I feel fat" all while trying to get dressed to go out. Not to mention I cried because I had overwhelmed myself and was ready to not go anywhere. A few minutes after he calmed me down and I stopped being a typical female I laughed at myself for being so silly. There are many times where we have to do things EXTRA BIG because "that's what you're supposed to do". What I'm learning in life and in my relationship is that we are all given the right to make our own decisions and make our own rules. Who said that we HAD to do something so out of the ordinary to celebrate the fact that we've made it to 6 months? Who set the standards and guidelines to what makes a relationship successful? That day it was made clear to me that no matter what we did I was going to be happy because I was with HIM. I didn't need a fancy restaurant or a hot air balloon ride to convince me that we have something special. In the end we went to the Cheescake Factory and enjoyed each others company, laughed and stuffed our faces. When it comes to love rules will be broken, made and adjusted. There aren't any voices that should matter other than the two individuals involved. Don't be afraid to go against the grain... you'll be so much happier in the end ;)

Until next time!
Desarée

Checking in...

Hello all!

It has been a while since I've last blogged. not because I've forgotten or because I've grown bored. What I'm learning is that I was and still am going through the very experiences that I blog about. I don't write from a 'forced' place... the blog becomes boring or uninspiring. I have to be truthful and only speak of what I know. I have been in many situations over these past few months where I have been discouraged, encouraged, enlightened, tested and restored. There are many things I am learning I cannot control, although I am a bit of a control freak. I am also learning more about myself as I approach my 24th birthday next Tuesday (the 16th). God is good... and the moment I have the *spark* I love so much... I will be writing. I feel it coming though so stay tuned!

For those who need that extra push to continue...

My mom put this song on my slideshow for my college graduation party. Never did I realize the irony in this song as I did today. This song truly touched me. The lyrics are absolutely true and inspirational. To any who has ever had a dream and thought of quitting or became discouraged... this is for you. For those of you who have had an idea or thoughts that were out of the ordinary and no one seemed to understand... this is for you.

Stay inspired. Stay encouraged.

Missing Michael Jackson 6-25-2011

They say you never miss a good thing til it's gone. I truly believe that the day Michael Jackson left this earth many people realized what a gift we had. For years this man entertained, serenaded and moon walked for  every audience possible. There are very few if any who can deny this talent this man possessed. not to mention his caring and joyful spirit. In spite of the media attacking him in his last years, I honestly believe he knew how he touched the WORLD. He will be forever missed. I will never forget the many family gatherings where we would watch a concert of his or turn an album on. The amount of joy and laughter that transpired is indescribable. if you never took the chance before to recognize what a gift this man was. His music touches many generations and will continue to do so forever more.

I love My Alma Mater. Cheyney University.

Often people say you were the worst experience but like Drake, you the best I ever had. I owe you so much recognition for who I am. Through the good and the bad you held me down and built me up.

Very few could ever understand what it's like to encounter such greatness; history deeper than the first man's grave. If I had to choose between you and any other memory you would be the one I would save. See people don't understand, the memories run deep in me. Nights in front of Tubman watching different people cross... as they spit information about organization that they loved to the depths of their soul. Professors like Dr. Z and Dr. Holmes who enlightened me on the history of black people in ways I could never imagine. A love of my people began to grow in indescribable ways. That very seed would have never been planted had I gone to a predominately white university like I first planned.

Yes things got rough and boy did I get tired of seeing my beloved school on the news but none of those instances had the power to wipe away the love I felt. My home away from home with friends who instantly became family will never cease. Nights in the snack bar or Ms. Martha yelling at everyone who didn't have their id, those moments will forever be mine. Dr. Johnson saying "I just don't get it" or the extra hard assignments that seemed so easy at first that Dr. Barnes would give us, I would never replace.

The broken elevators in various buildings were known to drive anyone crazy. One day I had an epiphany and climbing the flights no longer mattered. Not because I expected it but because it became a life learned lesson. On the road to success the elevator is always broken... you must take the stairs to the top. There is no easy way up.

Cheyney, for all the people who talk bad about you, I will shout to the high heavens how they're all wrong. Their experience is not mine. Circumstances may not have always been ideal but I can make it anywhere now that I've completed my journey there. I will forever be Cheyney alum and I will NEVER be ashamed to say that. To all my Cheyney family, never forget the good the first HBCU has brought into your life. Continue to support and encourage the others who are brave enough to conquer such a great yet worthwhile challenge.

Cheyney Cheerleaders

AKA DI FA06

Met Jesse Jackson at the Fattah Conference

Met Jeff Johnson at a program held at Cheyney

Graduation day... I was HYPE lol

Weight: Strive For the Size You.

After reading a few blogs I have been inspired to write again! I have been wanting to write about the impact of the ideas behind "The Prefect Weight" and how it is affecting our world. At first I was concerned that people wouldn't receive my message considering I'm skinny but I have a story to tell too so I know this will be good!

Everyday we are constantly fed commercials, ads, and images of weight loss products, diets and "success" stories. When watching Kim Kardashian's Trim Spa commercial I instantly thought "Wow that's pretty cool! Kim K uses that stuff, regular people can look like her.. #dope" After that commercial AND the several others that flooded my television screen I began to become sick. We have become people who strive for perfection driven by the numbers on a scale instead of gauging how we feel internally.

I have never been an advocate for size, I am more for health and feeling. If you feel great and are healthy then those are the things that matter most. I fell victim to the "ideal weight" when it comes to the model industry. Grant it I am skinny in the everyday world but in the model world I have been asked to lose 5-10 or more pounds. At my height and age I have never felt better but I am aware that I have become more curvy over the years. After hearing I needed to lose the curves where possible and drop a few pounds I went into instant panic mode. I went to the gym almost every day, watched what I ate AND tried to convince myself I wasn't hungry at times. Now I wasn't anorexic but I became overly concerned with my body image. The more I worked out the more I noticed the scale was raising instead of decreasing like I was supposed to. My body type did not allow for me to work out at that pace without gaining muscle, which everyone knows weighs more than fat. I knew something had to change...

Soon I began watching my portions, working out 3 times a week and stopped worrying about my weight # and focused on my inches lost AND most importantly, how I felt. Soon I went from a size 5 to a 2.. my weight is about the same but my definition in muscle and self confidence have increased tremendously. I'm not meant to be 120 pounds at the age of 23 BUT I can look my best and fit into a size I never thought I'd see again. I have hips and am rather busty but that is the way God intended me to be, if not I would've turned out differently. I learned to embrace who I am inside and out. My weight doesn't take away from my talent as a model or define who I am as an individual.

When it comes to everyone else I would never encourage you to strive for a size 2 but I will encourage to strive for the size YOU. Not the size where we THINK we'd feel good at but the size we physically feel empowered. Mo'Nique is a perfect example for me. She has always been a full figured woman however, her weight loss goal wasn't to be the skinniest girl on the block but to feel good about Mo'Nique. Now homegirl is wearing dresses that look GREAT on her figure, her hair is different and most of all you can SEE she feels amazing.

I encourage everyone who has been struggling with or questions their body to seek the best you. Working out feels like an accomplishment every time I finish because I know it was hard but I kept fighting and the results are amazing. Research healthy eating habits (NOT diets) and allow your body to be what it's supposed to be not what you want it to be. Love yourself wholeheartedly. Our outside appearance does not affect who we are internally but it should reflect it. If you feel good about yourself inwardly, express it outwardly. Find things that compliment your body and never settle for the "I gained weight and I hate my body." You must dress the body you have now as you strive for your goal. I'm going onto another topic lol...

Most importantly... Love yourself.

Desarée