How I Styled My Marqlui T-Shirt

Hello everyone! Welcome back!

If you have read my blog before you know that I have been gone for quite some time. Well, in the words of the great philosopher Lil' Kim "I been gone for a minute now I'm back wit the jump off." Sometimes life forces us to take a moment to rebuild and refresh. It was time to rediscover who Desarée is and what she likes. 

For as long as I can remember I have always been in love with fashion. As a child my parents couldn't afford to put me in the biggest name brands but it only made me figure out new ways to make the inexpensive clothing look high-end. I was never concerned with labels as much as I was with expressing myself through my personal style. Now, I can say that I have DEFINITELY evolved when it comes to my personal style and how use it to express who I am. In all honesty I still wonder whatever happened to my favorite Walmart hoodie that I bought in FOUR colors in high school but I thank God for growth.

Recently the designer Marquli sent me a yellow tee and I'm obsessed. Not only is yellow one of my favorite colors but I know it looks great on my skin tone!  I paired it with my camel trench from Pretty Little Things, my favorite high waisted black jeans from Hollister (Hollister has AMAZING) jeans, and my head wrap from The Wrap Life.

Here are some photos below. Enjoy!

29 Things I Learned Before 30

I was supposed to write this a year ago but due to procrastination and my extreme case of writers block I haven’t been able to complete it. Well, one day I sat by the river and the ideas started to pour out of me. I hope you enjoy this. I figured it was an appropriate post since I have 15 days until my next birthday ughhh lol. 

-Desarée 

1. One ply is not real toilet paper. Don’t skimp out.. invest in a clean butt. 
   
2. People will lie to you to get what they want from you. Even if it’s about the new job you just got.. you’ll learn in a few weeks that your extremely happy trainer hates it there too. Stay woke. 
3. Go to the doctors and dentist the recommended amount of times a year. It can be costly but so is a run down body and the person you have to pay to chew your food before you eat it. 
4. Liquor is cool but wine will change your life. 
   
5. Believe in something bigger than you. It doesn’t have to be one specific religion or belief system but you will need that thing/being when things get rough and they WILL get rough. 
   
6. Credit Cards are all fun and games until the interest hits. If you can’t afford to pay for that item without the card, you’re most likely better off without it. 
7. Don’t forget to appreciate the small moments. There will be more of those than the big ones. 
8. Stop and smell the roses, literally. Admire the clouds. Take a walk by the water. This earth has given us so much beauty and you can miss it if you’re too busy moving through life. 
9. Tell the people you love that you love them. You never know when you’ll see them next. 
10. Don’t be afraid to take that risk. You deserve it. You are ALWAYS worth the risk. 
11. If they’re wasting your time, they’re a waste of time. Our time is too limited to spend it with people who don’t recognize your greatness. 
12. You are blessed to have friends. True friends are hard to come by. Hold them close and make as many memories as possible. 
13. Travel. Even if it’s across state lines. The world has so much to offer and you will learn something new with every adventure. 
14. Drink your water but remember all water is not created equal. Don’t just drink any kind of bottled water.
15. Beyoncé is life. 
16. Invest in yourself! You. Are. Worth. It. Nothing is more important than your needs in life and it’s okay to want more for yourself. 
17. Don’t allow people to make you feel bad for the good choices you make. 
18. Often times people take their own insecurities out on you. It has nothing to do with you you and everything to do with them. 
19. Work out. Yeah I know it sucks but your body will thank you in your 30’s. 
20. College isn’t for everyone and college isn’t always the path to success. However, college gives an opportunity to surround yourself with likeminded individuals and potentially mold you into the person you’re meant to be. 
21. Student loans suck and they never go away.. so just pay the people or they’ll garnish your wages... no lie. 
22. Don’t exhaust your energy trying to convince someone who refuses to see things from your point of view if they have no interest in doing so. 
23. Do your taxes and don’t play with the IRS. They’ll find you. I’ve seen them in action. (Not due to personal experience.. I pay my taxes)
24. It’s never too late to start over, even if it’s for the thousandth time. 
25. People will stress you about what you’re doing next but as the great philosopher Lil’ Wayne said “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna”. You don’t have to announce your every move and not everyone should be privy to that info. 
26. Reading keeps you sharp. Sometimes you will enter environments that don’t challenge your thoughts or provoke new ones and you with feel the ramifications. Keep reading. 
27. Most of the things your parents tried to warn you about are spot on. You should also tell them they were right. You have no idea what that will mean to them. 
28. Don’t allow people to make you feel stupid for having sex with protection. Kids are expensive and they’re yours forever. 
29. Even the biggest mistakes can open doors for the biggest blessings. Often times our greatest change is due to a mistake that you refuse to allow happen again. Embrace your errors, they’re molding you into the amazing person you’re meant to be. 

Why Leaving NYC Was the Best Decision for Me

Why I really left NYC.

Picture this it was 2015 and I was depleted. I mean every sense of the word depleted. With a handful of people that I could call friend, I was broke, lonely and depressed. Yes, depressed. Finally it dawned on me.. it was time to go home. 

Whenever someone asks "How did you like living in New York?" I try to answer this question as carefully as possible. Why? 1. I don't want to scare anyone out of moving to one of the most magical cities on earth. 2. I know that my story is heavy and very few can understand my experience in the Big Apple. So, I usually  give an answer like "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." or "I loved it but as expected NY is tough and expensive. It was time to go." As many of you know, I'm an open book. There aren't many times when I hold back my honest opinion but I found that my truth was confusing some. Here's my story...

This is me on move in day at Astoria Park.

Before moving to NYC I saved up $8,000 in 3 months to give myself a head start on

my new journey. I was BEYOND excited. Just think, a dream that I've had since I was a little girl was coming true. "Momma I'm moving to NYC!" So, this small town girl packed up her UHAUL and moved in with her cousin and his girlfriend. I couldn't get enough of the city. Around every corner was a new experience and don't even get me started on the amazing food (drool). The opportunities are endless and life is about to begin, or so I believed....

Fast forward 6 months and I'm working a part-time job for $9.25 an hour and with $75 to my name. How did this happen? My job sucks. The girls I work with won't speak to me. I'm lonely. I'm struggling in my relationship at the time because my work schedule impedes on our phone time. How did I get here? This city of big dreams and bright lights has now become a dim back alley that is slowing killing my dream and my spirit.

 So the New York grind begins.

Ramen. Jumping turnstiles when I can't afford to pay for the train. Dollar Pizza.
Cheap happy hour drinks. Bare Foot Wine. You know... the works. I appreciate this time the most because it taught me to appreciate every single moment in life, even the lows.

As outgoing and as friendly I can be,  it was rather difficult to find friends. Working in the fashion industry is tough and a lot of the people are as fake as the photoshop the swear by. So there were many lonely nights and a lot of doing things alone. Dating helped alleviate going places alone and it allowed me to learn the city in a new way. Still, this was the beginning of a depression I'd be in for another year. I began to isolate myself because people weren't very nice to me. Soon the anxiety attacks were becoming more frequent and the thought of everyday life seemed more and more overwhelming.

Can we pause here?
So listen.. I grew up in a strong Christian household. Mental illness is something that you "pray about" and "Give to God". When talking about my depression it was very difficult for those around me to understand because to them depression is not of God. Pair that with the "Strong Black Woman" expectations and you have a recipe for disaster. Getting out of bed was difficult. Having everyday conversations was exhausting. I was so close to depletion that it was scary. There was this feeling that I couldn't quit even though I felt myself drowning. In the last few years I've seen an increase on encouragement of unhealthy behaviors. For example, "You can't sleep during the grind." or "Push past the sadness, it's only temporary." There are time when you'll sleep less and you gotta push through your emotions but let us not forget about those moments when you need to recharge your mind, body and soul.  I wish someone would've shook me and told me to run as fast as I could. But I stayed and I continued...

Day by day. New experiences regularly. Taking moments to sit on top of my favorite rock in Central Park to reflect on my life. Slowly but surely I was getting things back on track. I now had the luxury of living paycheck to paycheck but that was better than my $75 realness. 

The more success I obtained in modeling, the more money I was spending. When you attend events you have to look the part and I made sure I did so. Combine that with life mishaps, photoshoots and traveling I was now in debt. Capital One offered me more than enough to live off of by the time my paycheck at my new job started to decline so the swiping began. Fast forward to January 2016 and I had a total of $10,000 in credit card debt. Yes, I said it. 10,000 US Dollars. Owed. To Capital One. That doesn't include my student loan debt and other bills to add to the increasing weight on my shoulders. I was in over my head and it was TIME TO GO. 

So, I called my parents and explained my current mental and financial state to them. Without hesitation they told me to come home and... here I am! One year later and the majority of my debt is paid off and I've had the opportunity to save so I can prepare to move out soon. Living in New York was one of the most necessary experiences of my life and I'm grateful for it all. You couldn't pay me to relive it BUT I'm grateful nonetheless, lol. 

I didn't write this post to discourage anyone from moving to NYC or ask for pity. To be honest, I witnessed a lot of people find a great circle of friends and success during my time there but that wasn't my story. I experienced the other side of the Big Apple that takes a bite out of you instead of you biting it. The experience changed me for the better and made me SO much stronger. My world is different and I learned that it is limitless if you allow it to. Always shoot for your dreams and never fear failure. There will be times in life where you will try and the outcome may not be as expected and there will be times where you receive more than you could imagine. Although I saw myself living in the city longer than I did, the amount of memories I have there are endless. Know when it is time to stand fight and when it is time to go and collect more armour to win the war.

Peace and Blessings.
Desarée

A post shared by Desarée Rutledge (@iamdesaree) on May 3, 2017 at 9:19am PDT

My Eggs Aren't Cracked Nor Scrambled.

For women, there are questions that start to frequent your conversations as you get older. Seeing as though we are in a time where the internet is very much a part of our everyday lives, I felt that putting all of the answers in one blog post could alleviate this issue. So, from here on out I will forward this post to anyone who proceeds to ask me these questions lol. Enjoy. 

Don't you want to get married?
Yes, very much so. I'd love to be married and I planned on being so by now but the stars haven't aligned yet. If good men were just falling from the sky things would be very different.. unless it's raining men and no one told me. 

Aren't you afraid you'll be alone forever?

No. I know I was made to be a wife. I was placed on this earth for a special man, it just isn't my time yet. I feel like there may be things I need to accomplish before I meet my king. I can feel it deep down inside that there is someone specifically for me. I'm learning that we must both be on a great journey and when we come together it'll be so undeniable that the wait will be worth it. 

Don't you want to have kids? You know you're getting older right?

Excuse me while I laugh... Yes. I am getting older. Yes. Doctors stress the increase of trouble conceiving at an older age. I am aware. However, my eggs aren't cracked nor are they scrambled. I spoke with my OBGYN and she says I've got more than enough eggs to get it done when the time comes. I LOVE children and can't wait to have my own. HOWEVER, I refuse to have a child before I am ready. I don't want to bring a child into this world based on the ideals of society and the judgement of others. They won't be raising or financially supporting my future children (yes, that's plural). So many people think that life is supposed to go one way and that's it... If you haven't noticed by now my life is the opposite of what society says it should be and I love it. So, my children will come when the time is right. I'd like to have a husband to help and support me along with some stability in my career before I start a bringing kids into the world. My hectic schedule would never allow me to be the mother I have always dreamed of being. Being a "baby momma" has never been on my list of things to do.

Don't you think your standards are a little too high? Do you think that kind of man really exists?

I take peace in knowing that what God has for me , is for me and I won't miss a thing. It frustrates me that women are expected to compromise their standards based on what others say is possible. There is a difference between a woman knowing what is right for her and what she wants from life and a woman with a list of requirements that include height, weight, salary, etc. Love looks many different ways and often doesn't come in the form you expect. The man that God has prepared for me will not only be the things I want but or importantly, the things I need. 

Don't you think you need to slow down? You don't really want to be married if you plan on keeping up the pace you are. 

There is a time and place for everything. Slow down?! Why? I'm at a place where my career is moving in the right direction. Of course relationships come with sacrifice and I plan on doing so but that comes with prioritizing and scheduling things accordingly. Honestly, all of these questions annoy me 😂 I've been in great relationships. Yes, I have time constraints that others don't but I make time for everything that is important in my life and the man I love is no exception. 

I'm tired of apologizing and explaining myself. I've made a conscious decision to be the woman I am destined to be and I encourage everyone to do the same. Unfortunately a lot of women sacrifice who they are and what they want all in the name of love. I believe that the two can co-exist. You can be you and find someone
who loves you through it. Again, sacrifices will have to be made, schedules will have to be adjusted and travel arrangements will be increased but if it's worth it.. I'm all for it! I don't want to look back on my life with regrets. Regrets that never took a shot at my dreams. Regrets that I paired myself with someone who didn't love all of me. Regrets that I gave up who I am to contribute to someone else, especially when we can empower one another. 

I hope this blog inspires other and makes women who are like me feel a little more comfortable when people start to ask these probing questions. 

Stay inspired. 

The Truth About Why I've Been Missing

Here's why I've been missing.

I wish i could say it were due to my busy schedule, but it's not. I wish I could say I lack the inspiration, but I don't. I wish I could say I've lost interest, but I haven't.

I have been missing because my message has changed significantly. I have been missing because I can no longer be true to my blog and write about the things that spark my creative flow without rubbing people the wrong way. I have been missing because my life has been on a constant shift and God has given me a new set of eyes and the way I view the world is very different. The rose colored glasses are long gone and the world just seems like a different place.

As I'm sure you've seen from the countless photos I post.. I am a black woman. Usually, I don't walk around with that in the forefront of  my mind but lately it's been the only thing I can think about. At times I feel hopeless. I feel afraid. I am infuriated. I am disheartened. I am worried that whenever one of my family members leaves the house they may not return due to an encounter with the wrong authority figure. That in itself is another blog post waiting to be written but it's the reason I've been quiet.

After countless debates on Facebook and trying to enlighten people on a world outside of their own if gets a bit draining.

My world has been shaken and my truth is uncomfortable for many. Yet.. I know I've been called to spread the word, my knowledge and use my platform for good. So... I'm back. Better than ever. Woke. (Yes, woke. Woke - Being Woke means being aware.. Knowing whats going on in the community. Urban dictionary) Unapologetic. 

I hope that you all enjoy the transition that will occur but don't fret... I'm still Desarée at the end of the day and you will be receiving the same content as before.. Now you just have a little more content to explore. 😘✌🏽️

My Anxiety & Depression Story... Yes This is Real.

So. I filmed this video November 4, 2015. I've finally mustered up enough guts to post and patience to wait for my computer to convert the file. I was very anxious filming the video and posting it is just the same.

The key to life is to share your gift. To give back. I know that people can benefit from my story.. so here I am to tell it. You know God has funny ways. He'll take you through the father to help others weather the storm. Enjoy.

I Thought That God Forgot About Me

2015 has been the most trying year of my life. I have had some major losses and hard times in the past year. I have felt my lowest of low, lost friends, lost myself and struggled with my spirituality. Don't get me wrong.. I am blessed. I woke up everyday with air in my lungs and a job to go to but it seemed like everything that could go wrong, did.

This post is not for pity. It's for progress. It's for the person who felt most like me in my time of need and for the person who may feel like there's not way out.

Being raised as a Christian teaches you faith and believing that even when things get tough you will overcome. I can't tell you how many Sunday School, Bible Studies, and Vacation Bible Schools I've attended through the years because I've surely lost count. I can't explain how many bible verses and children's church songs I can recite after you say one single phrase. I'm also not sure how many words of encouragement that I selflessly have shared with others when they were in need just because the Lord placed it on my heart. With all of these things y'all.. the knowledge, the foundation and the urge to share a message to someone, somehow they were nowhere to be found when I needed the most.

Due to working retail I was forced into working on Sundays. At first it didn't take an affect on me because I still had my joy. After weeks became months and I hadn't gone to church things started to change. It's as if I was on the same radio frequency listening to my favorite DJ and all of a sudden I started to drive outside of the coverage area. The static started to creep in. At this point I could hear what he was saying still but the strength in the voice started to fade away. The longer I continued to be absent from fellowship, the less I read my word and the more anxious I became. (I won't go into the anxiety and depression too much because I'll be releasing a video about it very soon.) This is where life became the toughest. Not only was I physically on my own (remember I have 2 friends here, literally) I also was spiritually disconnected. And THAT my friend is a recipe for disaster for a person like me. I feed off of the energy of others. Good or positive and receiving no energy left me down and drained.

As time passed I would pray but my prayers felt unanswered. It felt as if Jesus had disconnected the mainline (told you about those church songs I can recite on cue). I felt lost. I felt abandoned. The words of encouragement from friends and family fell on deaf ears. I could no longer hear. I could no longer see. I could no longer understand why I was in this dark place and how God decided to leave me here. All lessons in life are in preparation for what's to come in the future and I will tell you I know exactly when God was trying to prepare me for this loneliness BUT it affected me way more than I anticipated.

Looking in hindsight I realize these things:

1. God will never leave nor forsake you. When I was feeling lonely and he couldn't get through to me I had a few people that he sent to me specifically to aide me in my time of need. Fiamma (all the way in California), Kristin (friend #1), Garvin (friend #2.. G you're not #2 in my life I just named you second so get out of your feelings), Ky (my day 1), Ashley (although she didn't know it) and my guardian angel Andres. These are the people who helped me the most during my trying time. I can never repay them for helping me carry my cross. Even when I was down they still believed in me.

2. You have to make time for the Lord. After I was denied Sundays off I found a loop hole.. I requested off every other Sunday. Not a single soul could complain because I was helping them meet the needs of the business and meeting the need of my soul. I requested a daily verse from my bible app and of course I talked to God even when I felt he couldn't hear me.

3. We're not in control. You think that you can force things, you think that you can change the direction of the tide but if you change those thoughts and go with the wind while you continue to do everything that you can in the midst of the storm you'll have your foundation built when the sun shines again. Somebody help me I'm preaching!

4. LET IT GO. You have to give all your worries to God. Cast all your cares upon him for he cares for you (Another 1, In my DJ Khaled Voice). Do not worry about the things you can't control. That's life. Things won't always go your way but those things that are too much for you God is bigger than. Let him take away the worry and you keep fighting.

5. Wake up and smell the roses!! I almost missed my year. I almost missed all the blessings. I went on vacation... TWICE! Miami and Dubai. I rode a freaking camel people!! I was published in a 3 page spread in The NY Daily News (like what?!?!) I met Jaleel White.. like forreal Stefan Urkel was supposed to be my man. I'm modeling for a company who's racks I would shop at my local mall growing up. I mean I am blessed. I live in New York freaking City and I'm alive. I'm not homeless. I'm not hungry. I'm not naked. I'm blessed. I have a job for one of the biggest american designers at the moment. #blessed

Count your blessings. You will get through. Trouble don't last always. Every storm leads to a rainbow.. never give up. Never lose sight of the dream. You will steer of course sometimes but you've got what it takes to get back on track.

It feels SO good to be back!!!!!

Desaree

The Day I Found Out My Dad Was A Janitor.

From the time I can remember my parents have always been hard workers. When I was young they opened up Hair Bizzz Barber & Beauty Salon together and ran the business along with my aunt. My mother and Aunt were the main hair stylists and my father did the managing. I didn't realize it then but they were molding my idea of what greatness is. I would watch them spend long nights in that salon working and building relationships with their clients. My father would make bank runs, keep the salon stocked with everything from the latest hair products to snacks that held the customers over while they spent half the day there (you know how hair salons have you there all day). Those were the days..

After my parents decided to close down the business my mother continued to work in local salons and my father picked up work elsewhere to continue earning for our family. It's funny but if you sit down and have a conversation with my dad it seems like he's worked for every company under the sun. I'm not sure there's nothing this man can't do and if there is he'll master it after you give him the manual.

For a few years my dad was working for an up and coming computer company. He would come home and tell us all about the funny stories from the office and how my sister and I should never end up like those people.  One day my mom fixed dad lunch and drove to his job to drop it off. After 10 minutes of him not answering his cellphone (In true John Rutledge fashion) she asked me to run it inside. I walked in and asked a woman "Do you know where John is?" She replied "John? Who is John?" I replied "John Rutledge. Brown skin man. Glasses. About this height" She then said "OHHH!! John the Janitor! Follow me!" As we walked through the room full of cubicles she led me to the back door where my dad's car was parked outside. If anyone knows him you know this man can sleep anywhere.. especially in that van he has lol. I then found my dad sleep with his smock on and cleaning supplies. I was confused because I had no idea my dad was a janitor but I also felt my heart break..

You see.. I'm not ashamed that my father was a janitor. Not by any means. He did what was necessary to provide for my family. Even if that meant humbling himself to clean up after others just to keep a roof over our heads, he did just that. The reason my heart broke was because at that time my dad should have been retired. He should've been in the sun on a beach in Florida with a drink in his hand. Although that day was difficult it was a pivotal moment for me. That day gave me purpose. When I started modeling  I had my ideas of what I wanted to do for myself and of course I had a plan to get my mom that Cadillac she always said she wanted.. but this day changed it all. This day showed me that I had to grind so hard that my family no longer had to work. My parents worked their butts off to make sure that we were provided for and the least I could do was make sure that they had nothing to worry about.

I say all this to say that I am PROUD of my father. He did his best to be the man that our family needed. By no means is he perfect but he damn sure is perfect to me. I applaud him and all of his sacrifices. The nights he worked overnight. The days he stayed out in the cold cutting wood in the backyard so my family could be warm during the winter. The rides to school he gave my sister and I everyday even though he didn't have to. My daddy is the man and I love him. I just hope that I can repay him at least 1/2 of what he's done for me and continue to make him as proud as he's made me.
Mommy I know you're reading this... I'm SO proud of you too. You have made me into the woman that I am... but this isn't your post. You're next I promise lol *muah*

Desaree

What's normal anyway?

Music is healing for me. It's my escape from reality and sometimes my sanity. There are very few artists who speak to my being... Miguel is one of them.

I dedicate this post to anyone who feels out of place. Out of touch. Like there isn't a place for them in this world. You belong. Be yourself. Love yourself. Listen to the song if you haven't already. 

                                                                 Miguel 
                                                 "what's normal anyway"

Too proper for the black kids, too black for the Mexicans
Too square to be a hood nigga, what's normal anyway?
Too opinionated for the pacifist, too out of touch to be in style
Too broke for the rich kids, I don't know what normal is

What's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
I mean what's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
What's normal anyway?
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong

Too immoral for the Christians, but too moral for the cut-throat
Too far out for the in crowd, what's normal anyway?
Too involved in my own life to spend time with my family
Too concerned about what others think

What's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
I mean what's normal anyway? What's normal anyway?
What's normal anyway?
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere
Be in a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere

Don't let them change you, just be who you are, who you are
Don't let them change you, you can't please them all, them all

In a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere
Don't let them change you, just be who you are, who you are
Don't let them change you, you can't please them all, them all
In a crowd and not feel alone, I look around and not feel alone
I never feel like I belong, I wanna feel like I belong, somewhere

Does He Care About Your Edges??

The bonnet. The Scarf. The Wrap. Whatever you use to protect your hair ladies... the men are talking about it.
During my visit to Chicago I had a conversation with my cousin Aja about wrapping your hair when you're in the presence of a man and if it's okay. We both are years into our natural hair journey and love our hair, especially after all of the hard work we have put in. Of course we are both pro scarf because maintaining our hair is priority but there are some men who don't feel the same.
As I sat down to watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta about a month ago, the camera is in the bathroom with Kandi as she's getting ready for bed. In walks her husband, Todd, as she's putting on her scarf. Todd makes a remark about the scarf along the lines of (excuse me while I paraphrase from my terrible memory) "Oh you have to put that on now?" and Kandi's response was "Yes. I have to preserve my hair." She then has a part where she says "If someone can come up with an alternative for me to keep my hair nice at night and I can wake up in the morning and just go I'll use it but until then the scarf stays."

Ladies... if he doesn't want you to wrap your hair he doesn't care about your edges. Gentlemen let me break this down for you. Most of you have cotton pillow cases. Cotton pillow cases will snag hair, especially curly hair, as you're rolling around in your slumber. Over a period of time hair will start to break of from the snags of your pillow and before you know if your girl has fake baby hair gelled down to the sides of her head all because she wanted you to be attracted to her while she slept. Cotton pillowcases also soak up the necessary oils to keep hair moisturized and healthy.

So Ladies if you're dating and finding yourself in a debate over your bonnet here's a compromise. 1. Bring a silk pillowcase. He doesn't want your hair wrapped but he didn't say you couldn't protect your hair otherwise. This allows him to feel like he can roll over and not feel like he's sleeping with Aunt Jeminma and you keep to keep your edges. Win! 2. If you don't have a silk pillowcase bring of your scarf but tie it around the pillow. The hair will still be on flee. No worries. 3. If all else fails and he still won't budge he can either a. Pay for your frequent visits to the hair salon because you will need the maintenance for what he wants or b. Find someone who is a little more understanding.

Now.. last but not least. Intimacy and the head wrap. Dun dun dunnnnn..
Well... you're just going to have to unwrap to wrap it again. If it's the middle of the night he may just have to endure but if you can control it try to keep the sexy going just for theme needed. Depending on how much sweat is required and what hairstyle you have to preserve I suggest you communicate to your partner that you absolutely need the scarf. That is the only exception. I'm not a fan of anyone sweating out the blowout lol. If your partner doesn't mind the wrap then go for it. If they do... you can either a. sweat it out b. ask him for the funds to get it redone c. pack your bonnet and go.

I want to know what you all think! Feel free to comment because this is an ongoing debate.

Desaree

Trouble don't last always: Open Diary

Why have I been missing? 
There is nothing more frustrating than writing a blog and constantly hearing the "thoughts" of others in your head. I experience this every time I write a post and there have been times where I could push through but for the most part I'm finding it very difficult. There comes a point where the voices of others speak louder than your own and frankly I'm over it. I'm tired of the self doubt. I'm tired of wondering if I'm going to offend someone. I'm tired of wondering if my words will be taken out of context. There's nothing more frustrating for a creative then boundaries and limitations but how do you beat them when they're coming out of your own mind?

This is one of my flaws. The fact that I can't drown out the voices kills me. It keeps me from being my true self. My true free spirit. Censorship and limitations get under my skin. There was a time where I could tune them out but honestly I haven't been doing what I need to to make that possible. What do I normally do.. let me explain.

Going to church is a big part of who I am. Not only because I was raised there but fellowship is something that makes me like at home. Being surrounded by likeminded individuals and being able to bounce ideas off of them makes things so much easier. I have found a church home but due to my busy schedule, making it to church on Sunday is nearly impossible. My prayer life is struggling and my lack of connection when it comes to friendships in NYC... well quite frankly I'm in a place I've never been before. Often lonely and shut off from the outside world my life has taken a turn in a direction I couldn't anticipate. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not miserable. I'm not depressed. I'm just an individual trying to figure out how to navigate a situation that doesn't suit my personality. I'm quiet at work. I'm pretty quiet at home. No real outlet for me to really express myself.. so in a way I've become a shell. Lol.. that didn't sound as depressing in my head. Sorry guys.. back to the point.
Having a relationship with God and being aligned with his purpose for my life is what I need to be on track. I'm working on that. Reading the Bible.. fellowshipping.. praying.. fasting (Lord only knows the last time I did that). Those are the things I need to do to get this thing back on track. Funny how we always know what we need to do but doing it is the hard part. Oh and I need to work out.. consistently. Yikes. My younger sister is a beast in the gym and I'm over here paying for a membership and I go every once in a while lol #fail.

I guess this blog was more of a therapy session more than anything. Thanks for reading.
I always pray that my posts help at least one person. There is someone out there going through the same thing I am and if I can give them some sort of clarity or make them feel like they're not alone then so be it. To whomever this may touch please know that you're not alone and this is a temporary state. Trouble don't last always.

Desaree

Instagramification

Instagramification.

A condition that more and more people are suffering from on a daily basis. Symptoms include but are not limited to: Deleting a picture/video after it does not reach a certain amount of likes. Posting pictures/videos that you know will elicit "thirsty" behavior i.e. half naked photos, eggplant Friday worthy material, etc. Refraining from posting a photo that wasn't taken in the perfect lighting and with perfect makeup. Trying to befriend people who have a huge following in order to acquire more followers.

Instagram is a great social media platform that has allowed its users to connect and build an audience by one simple thing, imagery. It has opened the doors to many artists, poets, singers, actors, etc. to showcase their work and build their brand. Unfortunately, on the flipside Instagram has also created a complex for others. Let me explain...

You're out for the night with some of your best friends. You're taking pictures all night long enjoying yourselves. Everyone knows that you don't post pictures after midnight, unless you're Kim Kardashian, so you decide to wait until the morning so everyone can wake and see you having the time of your life! 9 am hits and it's time. After picking the perfect filter (Valencia, duh) your picture is officially posted. Let the likes roll in!!! 1.. 4...12...29... and then... it slows down. After an hour you only have 37 likes. Then the crazy thoughts begin ."Umm... is my Instagram broken? Are people still sleeping? I normally have 77 Likes by this time. Oh! I see what's happening... they're hating because I went out and had a good time and they were stuck in the house with their boring lives. Did I not contour correctly? Maybe my dress wasn't as cute as I thought it was." ...and the list continues.

The "likes" and "following" are driving us crazy people. If we don't have what we perceive as enough the thoughts of inadequacy start to creep in. Let's not mention the users who have turned into total divas after they build a following. They have 2,000+ followers and then booking information pops up in their bio, along with the word "model" yet they have no representation. But I digress.

One of the scariest parts of all of this is the kids. Children are using Instagram and viewing all kinds of imagery. I know it because I see the things that they feel are important. The young guys are posting  every angle of their Jordans, their money I mean allowance, and then the random photo of them blowing smoke into the camera. Which.. by the way is the dumbest thing ever. People. If I've NEVER said anything educated before in my life... here it goes... STOP POSTING PHOTOS OF YOUR WEED ON THE INTERNET. The police observe it and will use it against you in the court of law. You don't think you're that important until you have a knock at your door. And no, your page being private does NOT make you exempt lol.
Back on track... the young girls are scaring me as well. The influx of THOT behavior has taken over my timeline. Yes, it will get you likes. It's been proven time and time again.. without failure. The thirst is real enough to where people will like your half naked pictures, however once it's out there it's out there. There's no need for you to remove your clothing for gratification. Ha, I guess that's funny because I model lingerie and swimwear. But modeling is my career. If that's your career choice then by all means, but if you're supposed to be in your 2nd period class but you're in the school bathroom posting pictures in your bra we have to reevaluate some things.

Last but not least... the fitness/perfect body craze. We've all seen it. That guy with the perfect abs. The girl with the tiniest waist line and the booty that Sir Mix A Lot was talking about (if you don't know who Sir Mix A Lot is... just Google him youngin lol). Yes we all follow them. We know them. We go to the gym with their body in mind. Inspiration. Motivation. All is well until you find yourself constantly scrolling through their page asking "Why not me? Why can't I have those ____? I bet people would like me more if I looked like that." Then the self doubt starts to creep in. The self hate starts to manifest. Next thing you know you're unhappy with your body. Although you've busted your behind to look your best, it's just not good enough.
When I recognized that I was questioning myself in ways similar to these I knew it was time to limit my Instagram. I had to unfollow some people, except for Miguel's girlfriend..I'm not giving her up lol. Seriously though, some people had to go. I was given THIS body for a reason. It was meant for me and my job is to treat is as well as I can. I must love it because I won't be getting another body in this lifetime. I can't look at how much people love and adore one fitness person and compare my life to that. Honestly I'm not built to work out all day, everyday. I like food and I like to make time to eat it lol.

::WRAP IT UP::
I say all this to say.... Love yourself. Treat yourself well. Take a break from Instagram from time to time. It's a highlight reel. Girls don't wake up with a full face of makeup on looking refreshed everyday and guys muscles don't glisten in the perfect light as they're stepping into the Lamborghini with their perfect woman everyday. We're all human beings. We all have flaws. You don't need the "Likes" to establish your worth. you'd be surprised how many people are paying attention to what your doing but just keep scrolling anyway. Go read a book at the park and bring yourself back to reality... maybe take a great photo after you're done lol.
Until Next time...
Desaree

Miss Understood

Before you read this please know that this was the hardest blog for me to write. It's honest. It's raw and it's still every much of what I'm dealing with. The judgement that can follow is a bit scary but I know that there's someone out there that can benefit from my story. There's someone who can use it and improve their situation or it may be the reason why someone doesn't give up. So... Here it is...

Growing up I have always been different from the crowd. There have been friends that have come along throughout the years who have made me feel "normal". People that you just connect with. People that understand you. People that can finish your sentence without explanation. Yes, I have been blessed to meet amazing friends along the way who could assist me in every single phase of my life.

Moving to NYC has been a journey and finding friends has been a difficult task to say the least. Now I know what your thinking, "You live in a city with millions of people and you can't find one friend?" New York City is full of people, bursting with energy and lots of opportunities.. this is true. However, New York City is a cold place. It forces individuals to build a wall in order to protect themselves from the cruel, dishonest and down right dirty situations and people that are encountered daily. So with that being said, no I haven't met a group of people that I feel completely understand me. I find that often when meeting people I am either perceived as fake because I'm nicer than most people or a little too forward because of the passive aggressive tone that most people have adopted.

I am different. I get it. But this has been very difficult. There has never been a time in my life when I couldn't find a safe haven. Growing up in a small town, going to a small HBCU and going back to my small town after graduating allowed me to be myself wholeheartedly. I was surrounded by like-minded people who could understand my thoughts. Who just got me. Of course there were the side eyes and haters along the way but nothing like what I'm experiencing now.

In ways I've become an introvert. I've become used to being by myself. Relying on myself. Most of my meaningful relationships are maintained through telephone conversations, which is great but it doesn't fill the void of having a group of friends that I can hang out with weekly or that I can call at the drop of a dime and have them meet up with me. After dealing with the awkward quietness that follows my comments in group convo's I've become very withdrawn. There's nothing more discouraging when trying to get to know new people than having them treat you as an outsider and blatantly show that they don't care about you being uncomfortable. After you add to the conversation and they stare at one another then continue to speak as if you're not standing there... That's crazy yo. I'm a woman with an opinion.. with wisdom and with a voice but it doesn't feel as though that's praised or appreciated. The general consensus seems to be "Let's all think alike." I would be okay with that hadn't my parents raised me to think differently. To follow the beat of my own drum. To dare to be different. To refuse to be a carbon copy. I can't spend my life being like everyone else. What makes me so special if I look, think and act like you? I hear the whispers when I walk in a room. I endured the months of cold shoulders after I spoke my mind in a meeting. I'm over it.

I don't want to sound ungrateful because I've met some beautiful people on my journey. Most of the models at Abercrombie helped maintain what little bit of sanity I had left during the time that I worked there. They made me laugh. They made me smile. They gave me hope that I could find someone who gets it. The frustrating part was that being their manager kept me from hanging out with them outside of work due to the no fraternizing policy. So when I would leave those doors I was alone again. Very few of the managers understood me. After vocalizing my opinions I had become the girl that was "hard to manage". Ha. Story of my life. I don't believe in sitting in bad situations and saying nothing because 'that's just the way it's been'. I'm sure I could've picked my battles a little better but I've never been the person who sits around and accepts less than what I deserve. I applaud people who climb the corporate ladder. But I won't do it being someone's bitch. The movers and the shakers of this world aren't the people who just deal with everything... they're the ones who step up and speak out.

Anywho... this is not a bash Abercrombie moment.. I don't have the time or the patience to type all of that out lol. I say all this to say, there are times when I'm lonely. There are times when I want to pack it all up and go home. But I don't. I stay and I fight. I cry. I wipe my tears. I keep going. Yes I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss being understood. But I have a purpose. This isn't just about me.

I don't want people to think I'm completely unhappy because I'm not. I enjoy this city. I enjoy all that it has to offer but it has taken me on a roller coaster. At times it felt like more valleys than hills but this is my story and I accept it. I love it and I learn from it. I'm not sure if I'm going to release this but... we'll see.

I'm a Slave to my Bra: The Busty Girl Chronicles

I'm pretty sure the ladies are intrigued from the title of this blog and well... the guys are thoroughly confused.  So let me explain....

I remember the day I grew boobs. And yes I mean day. It was as if I went to sleep on night and woke up with a B cup. It sounds like fun and games until I mention that I was in the 5th grade. After the first few times I caught pre-pubescent boys staring and practically drooling at the site of my newly developed bust, I began to cover my body with oversized shirts, sweatshirts and jackets. Anything I could do to get the attention off of these things that just decided to appear out of the blue made me feel partially normal. My mom would encourage me to buy minimizer bras to keep my breasts from looking even larger than they were on my small frame. She didn't know it then but hearing that word "minimizer" created an idea in my head that my breasts needed to either be smaller or hidden. Since a breast reduction was off the table due to a young age... hiding them with my new collection of minimizers was the way to go!

One day I visited my cousin Rene, who was also "blessed" with the overnight boob thing that had been passed down to us through genetics. She explained to me how she always slept in a bra especially since she didn't want "the ladies" to suffer the effects of gravity. Seeing as though Rene was like an older sister to me this all made perfect sense. Following that day I was not only worried about hiding these big things but keeping them from ending up on my knees because hey that's what kids think happens once you become "old". That was the beginning. The beginning of me becoming a slave to my bra.

From that point on there was never a night where I slept without it. I'd wake up in a bra. Take a shower. Get back into those cups. Go throughout my day. Go to sleep. Wake up and do the same. (Of course I switched bras during that time.. I hear you wondering about that) There have even been a few times where I've stepped into the shower with my bra on because it felt like it was part of my anatomy. When I started cheerleading in the 7th grade I became the girl who needed TWO bras to have to sense of security and support that I needed. There's nothing like changing in a locker room with girls and having to explain why you need not one but two bras, especially when most of them are still wearing training bras.

One day in high school I walked into Victoria's Secret and as you ladies know, the employee pulled out her measuring tape and informed me that I was now a DD and the feeling of terror immediately followed. Me? DD? Why?!? From that day on if a shirt didn't have a built in bra, I didn't buy it. If a dress required me to go without one, I wasn't wearing it. You just could not convince me that I didn't look like a "saggy boob lady" after removing my support system. I had very few friends who could actually understand my plight. Oh and let's not mention the countless times I've gone swimsuit shopping with friends only to be let down when the store didn't have a XL top to accompany my small bottoms.

Now in my 20's I have decided to rid myself of my fears and free myself from the restraints of my bra.
(Insert dramatic superhero music)
I've accepted that my boobs will be stared at AND they're also a great asset when my friends and I don't feel like waiting in line at the club. My bra has been a security blanket but I've learned that it's absolutely okay to take it off during down time. Sleeping in a bra isn't healthy for many reasons anyway. From time to time "saggy boob lady", whoever she is, pops in my head.. but I've learned that it's nothing a good workout can't handle. In more extreme cases I can always find a surgeon who will nip and tuck these things back to perfection lol. I say all of this to say that we as women have to accept our bodies for what they are. Stop hiding behind everything and flaunt what you've got (tastefully of course... and not for Instagram either). There are women PAYING for what some of us are blessed with naturally. Enjoy your assets.. you may not have them forever.

If you're that young girl who's stuck in your bra just like I was.. please know that it's okay to be where you are. A lot of other girls may not understand but you don't have to hide anything about yourself. Gravity will not be setting in anytime and guys will stare at your boobs no matter what size they are.. they just can't help it lol.

Thanks for reading!
Stay Inspired.
Desarée

One of My Favorite Poems....

Through life there will be times where you have to encourage yourself. This poem always gets me through my rough times. I hope that it resonates with you and stays fresh in your mind especially at times when you need it most.....

Don't You Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

Life is queer with its twists and turns,As every one of us sometimes learns,When he might have won had he stuck it out.Don't give up though the pace seems slow -Often the struggler has given upWhe he might have captured the victor's cup;The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,And you never can tell how close you are,

Signed A Twenty Something Woman With No Children and No Husband...

Life has a beautiful way of teaching you lessons. You can spend your whole life thinking that you want something only to find out later that you want the exact opposite.
This morning I logged on to Facebook to see two announcements of engagement. One, a picture showcasing a gorgeous ring and the other of a friend from home that brought me to tears as I watched him declare is love for his now fiancée in front of their friends and family. It's no secret that I want to be married and have a family. I know that I was built to be a great wife and the coolest mom ever but as I sit and watch people I know embark on new journeys day to day on social media I can't help but wonder why not me? Why haven't I arrived yet? I know I deserve all that I dream of but why hasn't it happened yet?

This is a conversation I've had with my close friends and I think I've found the answer. We all want what we want but life is about timing. I remember my senior year of college I planned on moving to NYC within a year of graduation. My work was wrapping up and all I could see on the other side was my modeling career. Looking in hindsight it is apparent that if that happened I would've crashed and burned. Outside of the fact that this great city is a beast, there were things I needed to go through, people I needed to meet, lives that I needed to touch prior to my arrival in the Big Apple. If I had embarked on this journey prematurely I know that I'd be in a completely different place in life.

Despite my ticking biological clock that family and friends remind me of when they ask "So are you next?", "When are you going to have some children... you know you aren't getting any younger!" oh and of course the "No man wants a woman who is too busy." I feel really good about my situation. What these people can't seeing is that I'm building an empire here. Not only do I want to give my children the things I never had I also want to make sure I give them ME. I want to my husband to feel like he has my time and knows that I am present. Of course with the industry I am in it will require me to be pulled in directions the average person isn't but hey so what? If my best is given and my future family is taken care of I'm good. I may want the big house, great relationship and a fish (I'm working on becoming a dog person lol) but is my timing correct? I can't imagine lugging a stroller on the subway as I go to castings or trying to find a babysitter everytime I get called away. Let's not forget about these student loans that are running my life!

I say all of this to say... it's okay. It's okay to be non-traditional. It's okay to be the odd ball. As long as your making strides in the right direction and doing all the things you need to line yourself up with your future plans YOU'RE GOOD. Have a blessed one.

Signed,
A Twenty Something Woman With No Children, No Husband and is Just Fine With All That.

When Dreams Become Reality...

*Cuts on Empire State of Mind*

Hey guys! It's been a while. Much has changed and I can't wait to share.

If you would have told me one year ago that I'd be where I am today I wouldn't believe you. Life has a way to picking you up and throwing you around just so you can land on your feet. A week after moving to the city of bright lights I was connected to a modeling agency. After meeting them and learning that they wanted to work with me I thought that I had arrived. In my mind I would be sent to castings and immediately book them because of the hunger to win that lived inside of me. However after being called "plus size", being told to get on a diet in front of a room of people by a reality tv star and being told I don't have the right to choose what I will and will not do when it comes to my body because I'm a new model I found myself at an all-time low.

You see people have a way of breaking you down. After hearing something countless times you will start to believe it if you don't have the strength to dismiss those ideas down in your mind. After failing to book countless jobs and ending the year with $78 in my bank account I found myself working part-time for $9 an hour and unhappy. I hadn't found a way to make friends and loved ones from home saw visiting me as a trek halfway across the globe so loneliness set in as well.

Telling this story is not to make you all sad or pity me... or to ask anyone for money (unless you'd like to donate to my student loans than email me lol) but to shed some light on a few things.

After a few months of being part-time I was promoted to a manager which was definitely a much needed financial "come up". By March it had been months since I attended a casting or had a photoshoot. Financially I was feeling more secure however the frustrations of knowing that I moved to NYC to take my career by storm was haunting me. Daily I found myself in the midst of everyday conversations models from all over the world because it is my job to build relationships with my associates. At times I found myself a little frustrated because they were doing the exact thing I wanted to but happy to have people to talk to. And then one day something happened...

After running my mouth with one of the models she asked me "Why are you not signed to an agency? I've seen your work and you're amazing." I replied "I've tried so many times. I haven't had much luck.   I feel like I need middle man to get me in because I go to open calls and they like me but after seeing my book they say no." And then she said the unexpected "Well girl you're in luck! I'm best friends with one of the scouts from MSA and I can get you in. I'll show her your work!" I quickly thanked here and told her I'd give her any type of photo she needed yet in the back of my mind it sounded too good to be true. Flash forward to about a week or so. I received a text from that same young lady explaining that she showed her friend my Instagram and she wants me to come to open calls.

Excuse me while I faint. In that very moment a dark time in my life became so bright. After months of struggling with the of idea packing my things up and heading back home, the light at the end of the tunnel had shown itself. For about two weeks excitement and anxiety wrecked havoc through my body. I was happy that I finally had this opportunity but the chance that I could be rejected again didn't seem so appealing. After deciding it was now or never I attended Open Calls.

The day of Open Calls I arrived to a line of prospective models wrapped around a tight hallway. As I assumed my position alllll the way in the back I began to pray. Whenever I do anything major I pray the same prayer... "Dear Lord I thank you for this opportunity and for bringing me here today. Lord I know what I want and I would love to do this but if it's not in your will I don't want it. Lead and direct my path and give me the discernment to know what is for me. I may not be pleased if I don't get it but I trust your will and I know you'll always have something. In Jesus name Amen." Shortly after my talk with Jesus an intern came out and collected my statistics and portfolio.

That was the longest wait of my life. With no expectations I awaited the verdict of them wanting to work with me or not. The same intern appeared and called me to sit in the waiting area. As I shouted with joy on the inside I pranced to the front of the line. Five minutes later a new woman came out of a glass door and said "I'm sorry but it's going to have to be a no today" with no emotion. (Insert playing violin) On the inside I was confused and conflicted. I had said the prayer but I didn't expect that answer from God lol. Instantaneously I heard the voice of my best friend saying "Don't you leave that office without getting some answers." The same intern who let me in the office then appeared of the elevator. I asked her if I was supposed to wait to see the scout that asked me to come in. The intern asked the secretary to call upstairs and after being told "Just take her pictures or something" I knew it was my time to PERFORM. After giving all the face and smizes I could in 5 snapshots they took the camera upstairs to be viewed. As they stepped off the elevator and said "She'll see you now" (Insert "Turn Up" Music) I was in a state of shock and confusion. That was a Tuesday... on Friday I was sent my first official contract.

This story is not to boast or to rub my success in anyones face. This story is to motivate and encourage anyone with a dream to keep going. I was at my lowest of lows during my first year of living in the concrete jungle. This place can definitely eat you alive. HOWEVER through mustard seed faith (because that's all I had left) and perseverance I finally got what I've been fighting 6 years for. I was supposed to sign with this same agency 5 years ago but things fell through with the connection I had. Life is all about timing and even though I thought I was ready then.. I wasn't. I say all this to say no matter how off course you may feel continue to do what you can. Even if it's a baby step you have to know that the step you're taking is towards a greater goal. People are quick to tell you that you can't do something but when you accomplish it they're the first to say "See I knew you could do it!" -_- All the people can be against you but if you're on your team you're already winning. You have to be your own biggest cheerleader because there will be times where all you have is yourself. You owe yourself the chance to open your wings and take flight. There will be many risks and failures along the way but they're all learning opportunities. Don't sell yourself short and wake up a 50 year old wondering where the time went. Time stops for no one.

Okay I'm done preaching lol.
Until Next time...

The Pursuit of Happiness.

Happiness. noun

 1. the quality or state of being happy.

2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

 

If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter or if we're friends on Facebook you may notice a theme in my life, happiness. With #100daysofhappiness I've made a conscious decision to acknowledge at least one great thing that happens during the day. Getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day inhibits us from realizing those special moments in time.

 

I strongly believe that happiness is a choice. We can choose to succumb to our immediate situation or we can rise above it and find the sunshine in the midst of the clouds. Of course there will be things that get you down along the way and things may not always go according to plan but it's all about not dwelling in those moments. You can let what that one person said haunt you all day or you can allow their sour mood to be THEIRS and throw that negative energy away. Happiness is in your hands. You're in control.

 

At the beginning of this "Pursuit of Happiness" I had to identify the things that made me happy. It seems easy, but when you're caught up in your emotions the task actually requires some thought. So I sat down, grabbed a pen and paper and created my list.

 

1. Listening to music that speaks to me

2. Spending time with friends and family

3. Reading

4. Expressing myself creatively (blogging, decorating, wearing clothes outside of my work uniform)

5. Experiencing new things (places, cultures, food, etc.)

6. Acting/Modeling/Using my Talents

 

 

 

Of course there are things that can be added to the list later like ice cream and Beyoncé concerts (hint hint) but I figured this was a good start! Identifying the things that make you happy is  the beginning of keeping the happiness you're striving for. When a goal is identified you can then create a plan to accomplish that goal. I chose to attack "Experiencing New Things". I'm in a brand new city so walking down a different street could be something new for the day lol. It's also summertime so there are a million things happening in NYC.. and a good amount of them are free. Considering the cost of living in this great city free sounds fantastic.

 

I've had the opportunity to walk through Central Park (which I've been DYING to do since I was young), experience so many different restaurants, and meet a few new people along the way. Some of the journey required me to step out of my comfort zone but I'm so glad I did.

I say all of this to urge every single person reading this to live for today. Life is short and it would be unfortunate to look back and realize you wasted a moment of it. There's beauty in everything. The way the sun shines, the trees that offer us shade, the very place your standing because it's a testament of how far you've come. I challenge you to broadcast your happiness. Share your moments. Even if its a smile, it will brighten someone's day.

 

Peace and Love.

Desaree